Perspective

This morning, for some reason or another, Ian woke up in a rotten mood. He was angry at the world, demanded things left and right and was just downright foul. Someone had definitely pissed in his cheerios. I wrote a comment about it on my Facebook page, something about him sneaking out in the middle of the night and going shopping at the Jerk Store.

Thankfully his mood changed and we were able to have a decent morning together while Leah was in school. In that time we went to the grocery store, and while there I saw that a whole entourage of corporate honchos decended upon the store. They walked in and were milling around the front door just waiting for an underling to acknowledge their presence and come greet them. And I'll tell you, the 'underling' that greeted them looked nervous as all hell.

These guys had an air about them that just amazed me. They walked over to the fresh green beans and patted them down, shuffled them and stuck their arm deep into the container. They marveled over the cardboard display of the oranges and how it was a great thing and how it was really sturdy and evolutionary. (dude, it's fucking cardboard!)

Blackberries firmly attached to their hips, these guys were cornering the local workers 3 to 1 and grilling them about......I don't know, grocery store things. I DO know that these employees did NOT look happy that the suits were there.

Apparently the boardroom team broke up into divisions because they dispearsed throughout the store tackling different objectives. As I stated on my Facebook page, I overheard one greasy looking guy on his blackberry in the coffee aisle threatening someone's job. What is so important about Folgers coffee that is worth axing someone?? The hell if I know. Another guy was marching up and down the dairy aisle checking out all the yoplaits, gogurts, chobani and whatever else there was to leer at.

When I was done with my shopping and was out in the parking lot, I asked the 'cart guy' about this whole thing. He didn't know what was up and said that he's never seen that many corporate people there at once.

The purpose of this isn't to pit workers vs. management or paint the local grocery store as the victim. Honestly, I've grown to emphatically not like this particular store, but went there today because their 'kids club' (where you can drop off your kids while you shop) was open whereas the one at the other store I usually go to was closed. As far as I know this store is a health hazard waiting to be exploited, and the management team was there to save the public's health.

What I DO know is that I'm SO thankful I'm not in that world. You know what i did after I left the grocery store? Ian and I killed some time by singing songs in the car and playing games. We picked Leah up from school and came home for lunch before playing football out in the yard while waiting for the bus to bring Ian to school. Granted, it was a very abbreviated version of football since I feel like shit right now, but you get the picture!

After the bus took Ian away to school I brought Leah inside, read a book to her, and tucked her in for a nap. I then made my way downstairs and crashed on the couch for a much needed 2 hour nap myself.

As much as I'll complain or joke about Ian's terrible behavior (okay, to be fair I'll say the 'kids' behavior....but c'mon, how often do I complain about Leah??) I always try to keep in mind what I left behind and how happy I am NOT a part of that anymore.

Nope, my world doesn't suck at all, and for that I am Thankful!

Stupid Habit

I have lots of stupid habits, most of which are non-sensical.

For example, whenever I go food shopping I put the eggs in the front seat. This separates them from the rest of the groceries and keeps anything from falling on them and squishing them on the ride home. In my crazy mind, this is logical.

The flaw of this practice came to light today when a stupid-assed fisher cat ran in front of my car. Trying to avoid creaming the dipshit, I jammed on my brakes. This in turn sent 2 dozen eggs flying into the floorboard of the passenger side of the vehicle.

Fortunately (or not) I went shopping at BJs today, so all the eggs are wrapped together in celophane. I'm guessing that is why I didn't find liquified chicks splattered all over the place. I didn't detect any breakage while carrying them into the house, but I guess I'll find out when I open the package.

I can tell you one thing for certain: The next four legged fuckface to jump in front of my car won't hear tires squealing in an attempt to stop.

Knuckle Patch

What you just thought was my sentiments exactly: WTF is 'knuckle patch'???

Ian and I were playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" this morning and a few minutes into the game he pulled this move: He throws his hand out, turned his palm up, spread his finger apart (bent at the knuckles) and called "knuckle patch".

(dramatic pause, because I know all of you are actually doing the hand gesture to see what I'm describing...go ahead, don't be ashamed. No one is watching).

Ok, now that you have a visual, I exclaimed "What is a knuckle patch????" Ian proceeds to tell me that it is like rock, paper or scissors, but it can beat anything.

Wait, what?

I started to question Ian about this new, fandangled "knuckle patch":

Me: When can you throw a knuckle patch?
Ian: anytime.

Me: You can throw a knuckle patch anytime in the game?
Ian: Yeah, except for the first hand. You can't do it the first time, but anytime after that you can.

Me: And knuckle patch will always beat everything else?
Ian: Yeah.

Me: And nothing can ever beat knuckle patch?
Ian: No dad! (getting all pissy)

Me(all annoyed): So what is the point????

Yes, I actually asked Ian in an annoyed tone of voice what the purpose of a 'knuckle patch' was. *sigh*. I made sure he knew I wasn't annoyed at him, but then we started discussing the stupidity of knuckle patch. C'mon, seriously: Why not just throw knuckle patch every single time? Well, I bet if you had arthritis it would hard to do repeatedly, but I'm assuming that kids playing rock, paper, scissors, knuckle patch don't have joint problems.

Since I had no where to go, I decided to dig a little deeper into this. As it turns out, Ian plays this game on the bus coming home from school and that his friend 'Lucas' taught him this faulty version. I don't know 'Lucas', but someone needs to have a sit down with him and get to the bottom of these shenanigans.

I consider myself to be pretty liberal and I think change can be a great thing, but there are some things that you just don't mess with.

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Okay, now that THAT is out of the way let's talk about the big elephant in the room: Where the hell have you guys been? I've been looking all over for you and couldn't...seem to....find...you..No? Bah, I tried. I know, I know, it's been SOO long since I've blogged. Let's see, what has happened since June?

Oh, I know!:

*We moved!!
*I took an awesome hiking/camping trip with some great friends to the White Mountains in NH (my new favorite place to go!)
*Ian learned how to swim
*Ian started kindergaren
*Ian is learning how to read
*Leah became potty trained (for the most part)
*Leah started preschool
*Leah started a 'creative dance' class
*I accepted a new role at our church (Sunday School Superintendent)
*I am back in school (working on completing prerequisite classes so I can apply to Nursing School)
*and I'm sure there is a bunch of other crap.

So needless to say it has been a crazy and hectic summer/beginning of the school year. I honestly believe that, as an adult, I've never been as busy as I am now.

But you know what? I'll go one step further: I honestly believe that, as an adult, I've never been happier than I am now. Life is just awesome right now: We're in a great home, the kids are...well, they have their moments, but they are at a fun age right now, I'm doing things that I enjoy and am working towards something, Allison didn't high tail it out of here after our 9 year anniversary, you know, lots of good things!

I've been holding off on updating this thing because I was waiting for something funnier than the day at the movie theater. You know what, I could be waiting a long time! Although I particularly enjoy a website that has recently surfaced in the news. It really makes me want to scrap my plans to apply to Nursing School and just be an employee at Wal-Mart. If you haven't done so yet, check out peopleofwalmart.com. Imagine the fodder I'd have people watching there!!!

I'll try to update this more often, I promise.

Dropcorn

We're staying at my in-laws while we're in between houses so the kids and I went down to PA to visit my brother and his family for a few days. It was a good opportunity to change environments for awhile as well as get in a good visit with them.

Anyway, yesterday before we came home Erin (my sister in law) and I took all the kids to see "Up". We got drinks and a big bag of popcorn for everyone to share. Erin sat on one end, I on the other, and the 4 kids in between. Right as the movie was beginning a gaggle of people came in and filed into the row in front of us. It seeemd to be a bunch of 11-ish year old boys and some women.

As the movie starts we keep passing the bag of popcorn around and give each kid a handful on a napkin in their lap..but since it's 4 kids who are 5 or younger, more ends up on the floor than in their mouths.

About halfway through the movie I notice a lot of movement from the row in front of us, in front of Erin. It was a good movie, so I was trying to pay attention to it, but all this movement kept catching the corner of my eye. I look over at Erin (since it was in front of her) and she is trying her hardest to control her laughter. She looks at me and points to the boy sitting in front of her.

So I start watching him and he promptly turns halfway around, reaches back and grabs a handful of popcorn that had fallen on the floor by our kids' feet and begins to eat it! It was really dark in the theater so maybe that's not what happened, I reasoned to myself.

I keep watching the kid and sure as shit he does it again! I looked at Erin who was already looking at me and we both just burst out laughing. It's not like this kid was even trying to make it a covert operation...he was blatently reaching behind him and grabbing this popcorn off the floor. Erin and I tried our hardest to not be loud about our laughter, but we couldn't help it. Fortunately it was a funny movie.

There was only a finite amount of popcorn on the floor, so soon enough the kid had eaten everything within his reach. He kept looking back to see if he had gotten it all, so obviously he was still hungry. I felt bad, so I grabbed a handful of popcorn and tossed it on the floor in front of the kids. Without skipping a beat the kid reached back and swooped it up!! I couldn't control myself, i was laughing so hard. I felt like I was feeding pigeons in the park! I knew it was wrong to play into this, but it was too damn funny.

Seeing this go on gave me mixed feelings of emotions: On the one hand I was happy that we decided to go to that particular showing of that particular movie on that particular day so that I could witness that. But it also made me sad to think of how much other funny stuff is happening out there that I'm NOT seeing.

I can't wait to see what happens when I go to Lowe's later on today!!!

Short, Sweet and ready to kick your ass.

Don't let Leah's looks fool you. This girl is all sweetness and light when she gets her way...but if she doesn't? She is ready to throw down. Her newest fashion accessory is the proof that's in the pudding.



If you don't know what they are, here is a closer picture:



If you STILL don't know what they are, then homie we best not meet up in a dark alley. You roll with your crew on that side of the tracks, and we'll roll like we do here in T'land.

Peace out....and watch your back, 'cause Leah's got a chip on her shoulder and ready to take it out on the next sucka that crosses her.

Cockologist

Well, ladies and gentlemen, Leah has decided what she would like to be. She declared to me yesterday that she wants to be a penis. Yes, that's right, she wants to be a penis. I'm just as flabbergasted as you, if not more. Here is how the conversation went (as I was changing her):

Leah: I want to be a penis!

Me: No honey, you're a girl. Girls don't have a penis.

Leah: No, Daddy. I want to BE a penis.

Me: Uh. Leah, I think you mean that you want to HAVE a penis.

Leah: No, Daddy. I don't want to HAVE a penis, I want to BE a penis.

Me: Let me get this straight: You want to BE a penis? You don't want to HAVE a penis, you want to BE a penis?

Leah: YES DADDY! (she said all sarcastic and annoyed like I was the crazy one) I want to be a penis!!!

Me: Ok, fine. You're a penis. Leah, you are a very, very weird penis.


Way to reach for the stars, honey.


And on a completely unrelated note, this morning I discovered my first gray hairs. Gee I wonder where they came from.

Misleading Title

Thank you Peter Griffin, Mr. Family Guy, for my son's newest favorite phrase. Last week we were getting the kids ready to put pajamas on and Ian runs down the hallway, sees Leah and lets out with enthusiasm "Holy Crap!".

I was flabbergasted, as it wasn't from me. I never say 'crap'. I'll either completely sensor myself with "Holy Toledo!" or not at all and let the full "Holy Shit!" fly, but never a half-assed attempt with "Hoy Crap!". I mean c'mon, that's amateur hour.

I immediately asked Ian where he got it from and he said "Spongebob". I despise that show, so immediately banned it from the house...as I did that, I looked over at Allison who shook her head. Apparently she was in the know as to the source and it wasn't Mr. Squarepants.

She said as I was making dinner she turned on the TV and "Family Guy" was on and within a minute Peter blurted out the phrase. Sweet.

And to think, I had been not allowing Ian to see the show in case one of the chicken fight scenes came on. You know, I didn't want him to be impressionable and pick up any bad habits.

I thought maybe it would have just gone by the wayside, but Ian pulled it out today at the playground. I was pushing both him and Leah on the swings and I really got him swinging high. Picture the moment: The sun was shining, the kids were laughing, the breeze was blowing and apparently the crap was holying. Ian let a out a "WHOA! HOLY CRAP!". Fortunately Little Miss Parrot was in her own little world and didn't hear him. She was too busy repeating to me the fact that her shadow wasn't smiling. Don't ask, I haven't a clue.

In an odd way, I guess it evens out as I learned my new favorite phrase from a 10 year old. I have yet to utilize it, but hearing a kid blurt out to Allison calling her a 'fun-sucker' was one of the funniest things ever. Even if it was in jest, it still gets me laughing. So Karen, make sure you thank your kids for me. That is keeping me entertained 6 weeks later!

Honestly, this "holy crap" thing isn't a big deal. This is PEANUTS compared to the F-bomb deluge we got 2 summers ago. I wrote a blog about that, if you haven't read it (or heard the story before). Just over on the right there, click on 2007 and scroll down to July 3rd. It's called "Duck & Cover".

My Cryptonite

Not a whole lot of things phase me. Looking back, I've:

Eaten some pretty messed up things, like:
*A hot dog with 'the works' previously chewed up by somebody else.
*2 cans of cat food piled on a slice of homemade bread.
*Allison's cooking.

I've been certified as an EMT for nearly 12 years and have seen some gnarly wounds, performed CPR numerous times (once in a helicopter) and reguarly go to calls to nursing homes. The elderly don't exactly smell like a field of wildflowers, you know.

I've witnessed the birth of my two children, and being a stay-at-home dad for closing in on 5 years now I consider myself a pretty 'seasoned' father.

But this morning...oy veh. I bore witness to something that made my knees buckle. Hell, I didn't even SEE it and it made my head spin.

I don't know what crawled up her ass and died, but Leah's poop this morning seriously made me gag. Yes, I actually gagged. No joke, I couldn't even stay in the room.

Have you ever watched 'Fear Factor'? If you have, you know the scene: The petite woman in the dark cave is about to have something awful happen to her (like monstrous tarantulas crawl all over her face) in order to advance to the next round. She's all nervous, but dons the safety goggles anyway. She's about to do the stunt, but at the last second just breaks down and heads for the hills sobbing: "No! No! Nuh uh! No way! I'm not doing it! I don't care, keep your money! WAAAAAAH"

Yeah, that was SO me. I was that petite woman this morning.

Lady luck was on my side though as it happened before Allison left for work. I actually went upstairs and sent her down to deal with it. That's right! I shirked my parental responsibilities and pawned them off on someone else.

I was upstairs doing my best to not hurl and began wondering if I had over-reacted. This is my daughter after all. Could it be possible I was just being a wuss-bag? I headed for the stairs to go back down there, and BAM! I got smacked in the face with that stench before even REACHING the stairs. Nope, I definitely wasn't being a wuss about the whole thing.

So I retreated back and then headed back down a few minutes later clearing the madness ahead of me with a can of febreeze. Allison claimed she couldn't smell it (she's sick) but said it was definitely grown-up poop that came out of a toddler.

Ugh. If that didn't just make you a little queasy, you are inhuman.

Leah, I love you....I really do. But baby, light a match, will ya?

2 kids for sale

Come one, come all! Have a look at 2 items up for sale, both items going to the highest bidder(s).

UNIT 1 - Description
---------------------
Male, aged approximately 4.5 years. Partially potty-trained, fully pompous.

Likes: to run around play-fighting, wrestling, and being physically active. Completely self-reliant & independent and will remind you on an hourly basis. Has no problem barking out orders or hatching mischievous plans. He likes to play games, especially ones that he creates such as 'who can hit the hardest'. Loves playing this game with his sister or girls in his school who he finds out are older than him. Has a special affinity for pushing people's buttons, particularly his sister's. Can be cuddly and affectionate, but usually comes with strings attached.

Dislikes: Harmony. Also dislikes taking direction from anybody at any time. He dislikes change and will fight it tooth and nail. Throws impressive tantrums when faced with change. Dislikes not getting his way and will sabotage any subsequent things that come after he realizes he won't get his way. Severe dislike, even almost allergy-like, to playing by himself. Self entertainment is a completely foreign concept.

This unit may or may not rest well at night, and would be best suited in an environment without older or younger siblings. Parental units who enjoy verbal abuse welcomed to bid. *DISCLOSURE* This unit tends to behave well in public and can be polite, it's the home environment that's a doozy.

UNIT 2 - DESCRIPTION
--------------------

Female, aged approximately 2 years. Completely unpotty-trained & full-blooded chatterbox.

Likes: Talking. Repeats phrases ad-nauseum, even after acknowledgment. Will yammer on for hours, no batteries needed. Fluent in non-sequitur phrasings. Also likes to completely disobey and test boundaries. Particularly enjoys pissing her brother off and bonking his head with sippy cup. Loves to parrot other people, without understanding what she's saying. Also loves to show her artistic creativity, especially on anything OTHER than generally accepted art mediums.

Dislikes: Silence. Also getting hair brushed.

This unit loves to show affection, and has no problem saying 'I love you' to you, as well as to the inanimate object next to you. She would do particularly well in an environment with other young female child units, or with those who are deaf.

These two units don't mesh well, so will be sold separately. Sale goes to the highest or initial bidder, whichever comes first.

Will ship for free. However due to the economy, packages may arrive separately. Re-assembly is responsibility of new owner.

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Obviously I won't sell my children, as that is illegal. Anyone who is interested in bartering though, please contact me.

How is YOUR week going?

Cool Pictures

The kids found some glow sticks today and we were goofing around with them in Ian's room. I don't know how they'll look with the black background on the black blog....but I'll post them anyway!

The exact time.....

Thanks to the link that PG gave in his comment to yesterdays post, the exact time until Ian turns 18 is:

4860 days

Or 13 years, 3 months, 22 days.
Alternative time units:

* 419,904,000 seconds
* 6,998,400 minutes
* 116,640 hours
* 694 weeks (rounded down)

Not like he needs any more help, but knowing all that info would make Ian shit his pants!

Thanks for the website PG!

4,927 Days

That is the answer to Ian's bizarre question today. Silly me at first replied with a general answer...you would think I knew my son better and where this was going to end up. This is how our conversation went while I was getting lunch ready:

Ian: How many days is it until I'm a grown-up?

Me: You're officially a grown-up when you turn 18 years old, bud.

Ian: How many days is that.

Lazy me: A lot. You see, you're 4 and a half now, right? Well after you turn 4 you turn...how old?

Ian: 5.

Me: Right and after you turn 5 you turn.......

Ian: 6.

Teacher Me: Right. And then you keep going through the numbers..after 6 is? (...we went through to 18).

Ian: Okay...so how many days is that? A hundred?

Me: More than that, bud...way more.

Ian: A million?

Me: Iiiiii don't think it's that many. No, definitely not a million.

Ian: 85?

Perplexed Me: Uh, no. 85 is less than a hundred, so it's more than 85. (Jackass me trying to apply logic with him to an earlier guess of his)

Ian: One thousand-hundred-fourteen-two-eight? (exactly how he said it)

Frustrated Me: You know what, Ian? I'm going to tell you exactly how many days it is until you're officially a grown-up.

Rain Man Me 20 seconds later: 4,927 days, Ian. Yeeeah. 4,927 days until you turn 18 and are officially a grown-up.

Ian: Oh. That's a lot of days.

Spent me: Yes it is. Here's your lunch.

~I didn't want to pull some 'random' number out of my ass (although one thousand-hundred-fourteen-two-eight probably would have done it), so I used the calculator function on my cell phone: 13.5 years x 365 days = approximately how many days until he turns 18.

And in case you couldn't get a feel for him by this little conversation we had: He has an absolute need for concrete numbers and guesses are the work of the devil. Everything is black and white and yes or no. God forbid if you throw in a 'maybe', 'sometimes' or 'kind of like that'.

So if any of you DARE bring up leap years and the fact that he's currently not exactly 4.5 years old, thus throwing the true number of days off...and leaving me to deal with the aftermath of his questions and demands for another more accurate number, I will hunt your ass down.

That reminds me. Ian comes up with questions like this all the time. I should just post them here so you can understand some of these odd things I get asked and conversations I get roped into.

Mardi the dog

This past weekend our neighbors asked if we could watch their dog for them while they went away. Our kids LOVE playing with the dog (as well as the kids in their family!), and during the warmer months this family tends to host impromptu play dates in their yard, so we agreed without any hesitation.

They said they were leaving about 9am Saturday and would come back about 3pm Sunday. Sure enough they dropped off the 1yr old puppy named Mardi (she was borne in Louisiana) right at 9am.

Holy freaking excitement in our house! As soon as the leash came off she started running like a bat out of hell throughout the whole house! She was SOOO excited to be in a different place and so she just ran around aimlessly at full tilt:



Our neighbor brought over a portable crate as a place for Mardi to sleep. He warned me that she has yet to spend a night in it, and that she probably wouldn't go willingly.

Um, we quickly found two other creatures that were willing to see what the crate was all about:




We also found out that one of her favorite things is to play 'tug of war' with her doggie rope. I've always loved playing that with dogs, so needless to say that was a huge hit in our house:




Ian liked playing Tug of War, but Mardi is a strong pup and could drag Ian around the carpet if he held on long enough. But since he really couldn't, and Mardi would win out every single time, it quickly turned into a game of 'keep away':




We were told that Mardi is a definite mooch in the kitchen and won't touch the food in her bowl until she was SURE that she wouldn't get any food from people. Looking as cute as she did, I see how she adopted that technique...she was hard to resist!:



Around 1:30 Leah went down for her nap, so it started to calm down in the house. Mardi was banished to the basement where we kept it chill so as not to wake up Babycakes. Mardi layed down too and took a power nap herself. Ian was afraid that she would get cold:




And yes, she really was sleeping!:



After Allison got home from work we put Mardi in her crate and went out and ran some errands. She didn't put up a fuss at ALL about going in, so that made it easy to leave, as we didn't have to hear her barking as we walked out of the house.

We got home a few hours later and I took her for a short walk around our yard so I could be back in time to put the kids to bed. Then after they were down, Mardi and I went for a walk around the block. I quickly discovered that she actually liked to run...so we ran the majority of it, except for when she stopped dead in her tracks to sniff the property of those houses with dogs.

We got back and she just kind of plopped down in front of the fire while I chilled and watched a movie:



Again, no protests going into her crate for the night.

Sunday was more of the same: Playing, running, playing, running, etc. until our neighbors came to pick her up.

It was a lot of fun to have her for the short duration, but I think it shows that we're probably not ready for a dog at this point in our life. I think we need to wait until we're in a bigger house and the kids are older.

There is nothing definitive going on with the house, so I'll hold off on reporting on that.

Until next time, don't forget the courtesy flush.

Today's exercise

The kids were going stir-crazy so we got our jackets on and went for a walk in the neighborhood.

Before long Ian took off like a bat out of hell running down the street.
He was laughing and giggling, so I scooped up Leah and took off after him. She LOVED it and started flapping her arms saying 'I'm a bird! I'm a bird! Tweet tweet tweet!!!"

We would run about 100 yards, then do 'ring around the rosey', but we replaced the end from 'we all fall down' to 'we all start to RUN' (screaming RUN) and then we took off sprinting again.

It was a lot of fun, a good energy-releaser and got the blood flowing to my sore quads from last nights run!

Here is a pic about halfway around the block:

I treated the end of 2008 like many other people I know: I heartily flipped it off, bid it a 'good riddance' and kicked it's ass out the door. I thought that stinkin' year would never end. Now that it's over, it's time to shed the skin and start anew.

After a several-month layoff I've dusted off my running shoes and will begin using them for their intended purpose rather than just having people gawk at their sheer size.

I love running and the quiet and alone time that comes with it, so to ensure that I get some quality 'me' time, and lots of it, I signed up for 2 half marathons in 2009. Both are in CT, one is in April and one is in October. I am open to running more, hopefully in between those two to keep me going through the summer. I saw one advertised just today for one in June...so I may sign up for that one too.

All this is ramping up for my goal of running two full marathons in 2010. I'd like to run Boston in April via a charity (since I'm a goofy looking slowpoke who couldn't qualify for Boston if my life depended on it) and then the Honolulu Marathon in December when we go there to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. So if I get into Boston with a charity, be prepared to be hit up by me for money. A lot.

Tonight was my first run, which I actually attempted this morning. I got up at 4:30 to hit the pavement, but found our driveway covered in a sheet of ice. Let's just say it didn't go so well.

Picture Brian Boitano in the height of his career, skating gracefully and flawlessly to his Gold medal win in the '88 Olympics. Got it? Now add about 50 lbs around the gut and a foot in height. Oh yeah, and take away any athletic prowess whatsoever. That was me this morning. It was about as far away from the Tano Triple Lutz as you could get. In fact, I would call it the 'Don you fat putz'. I nearly broke my neck as i quite embarrassingly slid across the driveway flapping my gangly arms like a spastic freakishly-tall penguin.

I made another attempt at it tonight and it went much more smoothly. I completed 2 miles without any problems but am glad to get that first run over with, as it's always the hardest one. I can't believe that just one year ago I had completed a marathon, yet here I am tonight with tired legs after a mere 2 mile slog. But I will be able to get those longer distances back under my belt in no time and will soon enough be able to do them again without much of an effort. I really am looking forward to my future runs.

To avoid running the risk of revocation of my man-card, I need to clarify that I had to Google "famous male figure skaters" to come up with Brian Boitano's name. I haven't the foggiest about anything relating to ice skating...I could have easily put in Christopher Bowman's name in there, as he was "Bowman the Showman"...but he wasn't made fun of mercilessly on South Park.

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Not only has our family gotten over the death of Aloe our fish, but we have replaced his place in our lives with a, well, an alive fish. Just a few days later the kids and I went to Petco and picked up another betta. He's a blue and black fellow that goes by the name of...are you ready for this?.....'Sank'. No shit, that's his name. Ian thought up that name all by himself and it still makes me laugh several weeks later. Hopefully he'll fare better than Aloe did.

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Christmas has come and gone and we're happy about it. Although the holidays are a fun time, and we had a BLAST, it's good to get back to normalcy. Don't get me wrong, we loved all the places we went to and people we saw. But Ian got, shall we say "jaded". We'd go to a party or even just somewhere there was Christmas decorations and he'd expect presents. Or he'd see a box wrapped up and ask if it was for him. And God forbid he saw pressents that he knew was for him: he'd pester the shit out of us or the gift-giver until he could open it. And then if it was something he didn't specifically want he wouldn't hide his disappointment.

I know it can be chalked off as typical 4 yr old behavior, but it doesn't make it any easier to accept or any less uncomfortable when he acts that ungracious in front of someone who took the time and energy to get something for him.

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We just got back from a visit with my brother and sister in law and their family. We took the train to PA as our kids suck in the car and we figured it would make for a happier event if they weren't lashed to their carseats.

This proved to be worth it as there were several trips to the cafe car and bathroom. It was a 4.5hr ride down there and the kids got sick of the train at about the 4 hr,10min mark so it was perfect timing. It took a lot longer on the way home, but it was mostly due to planned delays. The kids were much crankier and less tolerant of the train, so it was more painful...but I still think it was a good way to travel.

We had a fun time while we were down there. Ian and Leah got to spend lots of quality time with their cousins Paige & Shane and everyone got along surprisingly well! There were only a few major meltdowns, but for being together for nearly 6 whole days in a row without much separation I'd call that a success!

Ian has already found a new furry best friend. At Paige & Shane's house is a 3 month old kitten named "Midnight". This is the most tolerant, laid back cat you ever saw....Ian spent the majority of his day chasing that cat down and carrying him around. He DESPERATELY wants to get a new cat, preferably that one. He asked for one for his birthday, so we have quite awhile to decide if that's something we want to do. Although maybe we'd be better off getting Sank a playmate.

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I have more to tell but nothing earth shattering and it's entirely too late, so this is where I end it.

Until next time, don't forget to put on clean underwear.