As you know, I don't hold any punches here in my blog. I tell things like they are, whether it makes me look like a rock star or a complete buffoon. I say that because something has been weighing heavy on my mind lately. I've been debating whether or not I want to talk about it here, but as I say, I usually don't hold anything back and tell you guys what's going on with me. So I've decided that I need to spill it. It's not easy to fess up to it, but as I understand it, it'll help with the healing process.
There is something about me that I'm not proud of. It's been affecting my family for years, and across a few generations...two that I know of for sure, maybe more. It's common, yet no one really talks about it because of it's devestating effects it can have on families.
There is treatment, yet I doubt everyone who needs it seeks it. No one wants to own up to the fact that they need help from outside sources and there are many who feel they can beat it on their own.
Well, I am not one of those people anymore. I am now willing to face my demons and admit that I have a problem. A big problem. I have a problem and I need help. Ok, here goes...(this is the first time I'm writing this out).
Hi, My name is Don. And I'm Lactose Intolerant.
Wow. That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be! I thought it would be more difficult to admit that in a public forum such as this. Hmmph.
I don't know when, why, how or what triggered this. Well, I know what triggered this, but for some reason I have become lactose intolerant. At least I think I have. I still need to try to cut out all dairy products to see if that makes a difference, but I've been paying close attention the last few days and I'm pretty sure thats the culprit.
This royally sucks because I've always prided myself on having an iron stomach, not to mention that I'm a huge fan of dairy. I know there are daily pills I can take to help with it, but I'd rather not have to go that route and have to rely on taking a pill otherwise risking isolating myself from anyone within 100 yards....for hours on end. But then again, I'm already taking multivitamins and other crap every day, so whats one more pill.
So I'll begin to cut out dairy and see if that makes a difference. Fear not, I'll keep you updated. Oh. And if we're at a party together and you see me hovering around the cheese plate, I give you permission to knock some sense into me...unless I've taken my lactaid.
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On another equally (if not moreso) sucky note, we received some bad news about Ian's preschool. Without getting into details here (which I couldn't really do anyway because it seems to be a he said/she said kind of thing between the principal and the teacher), it boils down to this: This semester Ian's school is one hour a day, two days per week.
Not only that, but they shifted the time up by 15 minutes. So instead of Allison bringing him in at 8am and me picking him up at 10am, he now will be in school from 7:45 to 8:45. What the fuck is that? What in God's name can you accomplish in an hour with a room full of Preschoolers?
Oh yeah, thats another doozie! Ian's first day of the new semester was yesterday (Tuesday)...out of the 10 kids that were in the class last semester, only 3 are returning for the 2nd semester. Yup, 7 sets of parents decided to pull their kids from the program.
I certainly don't blame them, as one hour, twice a week isn't much of a program. But if there was still the same number of kids it at least would have FELT like preschool to the kids...3 year olds can't tell time. Time flies for them anyway, I bet they never would have noticed the difference. But there is a HUGE void with only 3 kids there I bet. I didn't pick Ian up yesterday, so I didn't get what the vibe was. But I'm looking forward to getting the feel tomorrow.
I'm not sure what kind of luck we'll have getting him in somewhere else for the balance of the semester, not to mention the cost of another program...a major deciding factor in going with the one at the High School was the low cost.
But that's my next objective: To see if we can find a supplemental place for Ian to get a school-type/group setting a few hours a week to show him that, in fact, he is NOT the center of the universe!
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Let's see, what else is going on? The kids are still sick. Well, Ian seemed to have pulled through for the most part, but Leah is hanging onto this virus like it was a new Transformer (Leah's favorite toys too, by the way). Hopefully she'll be better in the next few days, because honestly, I'm tired of isolation...I try to keep the kids away from others when they're sick, because it's the right thing to do. But my patience is wearing thin, so we might go out and infect the world in the next few days. So if you see us, cross to the other side of the street.
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I'm sure there is more to tell, but I'm spent. It's time for bed.
Have a fantastic day, and for God's sake, stay away from the dairy case.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Quick Update
Yeah, it's been awhile, I know. What can I say, nothing exciting has happened: No dogs have shit on my lawn, no fish have died, no 10' bowling pins shuffling along has scared Ian, he hasn't dropped the F-bomb lately and neither kid has cured cancer.
But do you know what miracle DID happen? I had a DIY project go smoothly! In my umpteen tries at doing something myself, I believe this is the very first time that I completed a project without a single derailment.
And what was this wonderful project that I magnificently kicked ass on? It was replacing the toilet in the basement bathroom.
Last week I was in there feeding the cats when the semi-retarded one (Cleo) came in squeaking, squaking and getting all excited. She chose her path very carfully: She ran right between my 2 moving size 14 boots. Stupid me tried to avoid stepping on the 4-legged nuisance and tripped up myself and bashed into the 1970's pale green porcelin god. Immediate dripping ensued.
So anyway, on Monday afternoon allison took the kids for a bike ride/walk around the neighborhood and I was able to do the entire project in a little over an hour! This includes unhooking/draining the old one, taking it apart & bringing it to the garage, scraping off the old wax ring, installing & hooking up the new toilet, and cleaning up the tools.
Since it went problem free, i was SURE that there would be a leak when I turned the water back on....but there wasn't! Booyah......
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on an unrelated note, the kids are sick...again. Allison and the kids got sick towards the end of January. They were sick for awhile, as it just lingered. I was lucky that I didn't get sick with them. I attributed it to my eating well, working out and taking my multivitamins...yeah, that worked. I ended up with a nasty chest cold that lingered for a few weeks. That finally cleared up last week....just in time for the kids to get sick again.
We usually don't take them to the doctors for a cold, as I don't want to clog up the Drs office for something like this, especially this time of year: tis the season. But Leah has been grabbing at her ears the last day, so we have an appointment for them to check her out. I'll have them look at Ian too, since we're there, but I think it's just the run of the mill cold.
Anyway, thats all for now. I apologize for not updating sooner, but honestly there hasn't been anything to report!
Believe you me, when something fucked up happens in my life, you will be the first to know!
But do you know what miracle DID happen? I had a DIY project go smoothly! In my umpteen tries at doing something myself, I believe this is the very first time that I completed a project without a single derailment.
And what was this wonderful project that I magnificently kicked ass on? It was replacing the toilet in the basement bathroom.
Last week I was in there feeding the cats when the semi-retarded one (Cleo) came in squeaking, squaking and getting all excited. She chose her path very carfully: She ran right between my 2 moving size 14 boots. Stupid me tried to avoid stepping on the 4-legged nuisance and tripped up myself and bashed into the 1970's pale green porcelin god. Immediate dripping ensued.
So anyway, on Monday afternoon allison took the kids for a bike ride/walk around the neighborhood and I was able to do the entire project in a little over an hour! This includes unhooking/draining the old one, taking it apart & bringing it to the garage, scraping off the old wax ring, installing & hooking up the new toilet, and cleaning up the tools.
Since it went problem free, i was SURE that there would be a leak when I turned the water back on....but there wasn't! Booyah......
-----------------------------------------------
on an unrelated note, the kids are sick...again. Allison and the kids got sick towards the end of January. They were sick for awhile, as it just lingered. I was lucky that I didn't get sick with them. I attributed it to my eating well, working out and taking my multivitamins...yeah, that worked. I ended up with a nasty chest cold that lingered for a few weeks. That finally cleared up last week....just in time for the kids to get sick again.
We usually don't take them to the doctors for a cold, as I don't want to clog up the Drs office for something like this, especially this time of year: tis the season. But Leah has been grabbing at her ears the last day, so we have an appointment for them to check her out. I'll have them look at Ian too, since we're there, but I think it's just the run of the mill cold.
Anyway, thats all for now. I apologize for not updating sooner, but honestly there hasn't been anything to report!
Believe you me, when something fucked up happens in my life, you will be the first to know!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Photo of the Fandangled Fishy, As requested
The morning after I posted the blog about Aloe, I walked into the kitchen and saw that he was swimming normally!! I couldn't believe the timing of it....that little rapscallion must have heard me typing about the possibility of his demise.
Several times a day I've gone back to check and see how he's doing. All has been well, until this morning, that is. For some reason, he is back to floating on one side. So of course, I snapped a picture.
As requested, here is Aloe lying horizontal in the water, working on his flourescent tan.
Several times a day I've gone back to check and see how he's doing. All has been well, until this morning, that is. For some reason, he is back to floating on one side. So of course, I snapped a picture.
As requested, here is Aloe lying horizontal in the water, working on his flourescent tan.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Fishy Medical Condition
Before you get all worried, no, there is nothing wrong with any of us. Well, I take that back. There is plenty wrong with ALL of us here in our house...but that's not what I'm talking about.
We have a lame fish. Not lame as in: "God, does his personality suck!". But lame as in: he lists to one side. One morning a few weeks ago I went into the kitchen and glanced over at his little bowl on the kitchen counter and saw him floating on top of the water motionless.
Ian was with me, so I made breakfast while trying not to draw attention to the future sushi roll not 4 feet away from us. All of a sudden the little fucker sprang to life and started bolting around. The fish, that is...not the boy.
Okay, so I fed him and went about my day. Every time I was in the kitchen I would look over and sure enough he'd be on his side looking at both the top AND bottom of the bowl at the same time. This went on for a few weeks, but every time you would tap the bowl or feed him, he'd perk up, swim around and then just kind of stop and hang out. The funny part of watching him is when he stops swimming he slowly tips and rolls over on his side. Instead of Aloe, we should just call him Tim-berrrrrrrr.
Anyway, I was telling my neighbors that I was considering Bettacide because of his ailment. Now don't get all freaky on me, hear me out. No creature deserves to live with one eye permanently glaring at recessed kitchen lighting. What a confused little fishy he must have become! One eye blind and one eye looking at clear glass rocks at the bottom of the bowl. How would you like to go about life always looking through a kaleidoscope? I call it high school and college, but I wouldn't want it to be permanent!
So anyway, I was telling my neighbors about it, and going through my proposed methods. Hmmmm, do I need to stop here and elaborate on my proposed methods of eliminating a 3oz lopsided fish? Because, yes, I have given this thought. Okay, you win. Here goes:
Choice A: Pull a Finding Nemo and flush him out of sight, out of mind. The problem I have with that is that in the movie, Nemo is flushed down the spit sink and out into the ocean. In case you have never been to my house I neither have a spit sink nor an ocean nearby. The closest Aloe would come to the ocean is the septic tank in my back yard. Not a very pleasant choice.
Choice B: In-Sinkerator. Also known as my garbage disposal. Once again, hear me out. Surely he's in pain. He can't be comfortable. And flushing him down the pipes into the septic tank would be a slow and ugly death. That would be a really CRAPPY thing to do to him.
So I came up with the idea of tossing the floppy little bastid down the sink drain and flipping the switch. At least it would be a quick death, as those things are sharp, fast and mean business! But fear not, as that is not the way that Aloe will meet his demise. I kind of get a chuckle out of my reasoning for NOT doing it, so I will share it with you.
I decided not to go this route, because..... Okay, when you use the garbage disposal you need to keep water flowing to the drain, right? You need to do that because it helps keep what your chopping and disposing of moist and lubricated and choppable. I'm actually not exactly sure why you need to keep the water flowing, I just know that you do. But my answer sounds good doesn't it?
So you need to do that, and if I WERE to go that route, I'd want to place something over the drain (like a plate or something) to both stifle the scream and keep fish bits from flying up onto the light fixture above the sink. After all, who wants to clean pet remnants from a light fixture? And if I do that, water wouldn't be able to go down the drain to keep all the bits of Aloe nice and wet.
So basically Choice B is out because I'm too lazy to clean fish shit off of everything. (Before I go on: yes, I have realized that nothing else splats out of the drain, so why would he. I'm using that as a reason because knowing me, it WOULD happen. That kind of stuff happens to me all the time, and thats a whole 'nother sack of potatos to write about).
Anyway, back to my original train of thought. I was telling my neighbors this, and while her horrified expression was leaving her face, she told me that she had a fish who did the same thing. She googled it on-line and diagnosed that her fish had an (are you ready for this??) Obstructed Bowel.
She said it sounded exactly like what happened to hers, so it boils down to the fact that my fish can't take a shit. How funny is that?? Aloe can't squeeze out a turd! She read that feeding him peas would help, and that she gave him a few every day. And after about 6 months, he righted himself and was better. Wow, 6 months. That must have been some murky water the day he became 'well' again.
I tried giving Aloe some frozen peas but the poor little guy couldn't right himself enough to eat it. He flippered his way over to it and tried, but it was just too big for him.....and then the pea thawed and sank. I then tried thawing them out for him and THEN giving them to him, but they just sank right past his hungry little fishy-face that was desperately trying to get some fiber.
So now I'm at a crossroads. What do I do? I still feed him regular food, but I don't know if it's helping him. The peas cloud up the water faster than you can say "Does this topic really deserve it's own blog?", so I don't want to keep feeding them to him if he's not going to eat them. Should I call the vet and see what she thinks? (You can bet your ass I'm not going to call the vet about a $4.99 fish that I bought out of sheer boredom). Or should I just break down and go to the pet store and see what they think? I'd prefer not to do that, because, well, the kids have fun at the pet store and who am I to bring joy into their lives?
In reality, that's what I'm going to do. Not that they are marine biologists over there at PetSmart, but maybe they have an idea. And if not, we'll welcome home Aloe Jr.
We have a lame fish. Not lame as in: "God, does his personality suck!". But lame as in: he lists to one side. One morning a few weeks ago I went into the kitchen and glanced over at his little bowl on the kitchen counter and saw him floating on top of the water motionless.
Ian was with me, so I made breakfast while trying not to draw attention to the future sushi roll not 4 feet away from us. All of a sudden the little fucker sprang to life and started bolting around. The fish, that is...not the boy.
Okay, so I fed him and went about my day. Every time I was in the kitchen I would look over and sure enough he'd be on his side looking at both the top AND bottom of the bowl at the same time. This went on for a few weeks, but every time you would tap the bowl or feed him, he'd perk up, swim around and then just kind of stop and hang out. The funny part of watching him is when he stops swimming he slowly tips and rolls over on his side. Instead of Aloe, we should just call him Tim-berrrrrrrr.
Anyway, I was telling my neighbors that I was considering Bettacide because of his ailment. Now don't get all freaky on me, hear me out. No creature deserves to live with one eye permanently glaring at recessed kitchen lighting. What a confused little fishy he must have become! One eye blind and one eye looking at clear glass rocks at the bottom of the bowl. How would you like to go about life always looking through a kaleidoscope? I call it high school and college, but I wouldn't want it to be permanent!
So anyway, I was telling my neighbors about it, and going through my proposed methods. Hmmmm, do I need to stop here and elaborate on my proposed methods of eliminating a 3oz lopsided fish? Because, yes, I have given this thought. Okay, you win. Here goes:
Choice A: Pull a Finding Nemo and flush him out of sight, out of mind. The problem I have with that is that in the movie, Nemo is flushed down the spit sink and out into the ocean. In case you have never been to my house I neither have a spit sink nor an ocean nearby. The closest Aloe would come to the ocean is the septic tank in my back yard. Not a very pleasant choice.
Choice B: In-Sinkerator. Also known as my garbage disposal. Once again, hear me out. Surely he's in pain. He can't be comfortable. And flushing him down the pipes into the septic tank would be a slow and ugly death. That would be a really CRAPPY thing to do to him.
So I came up with the idea of tossing the floppy little bastid down the sink drain and flipping the switch. At least it would be a quick death, as those things are sharp, fast and mean business! But fear not, as that is not the way that Aloe will meet his demise. I kind of get a chuckle out of my reasoning for NOT doing it, so I will share it with you.
I decided not to go this route, because..... Okay, when you use the garbage disposal you need to keep water flowing to the drain, right? You need to do that because it helps keep what your chopping and disposing of moist and lubricated and choppable. I'm actually not exactly sure why you need to keep the water flowing, I just know that you do. But my answer sounds good doesn't it?
So you need to do that, and if I WERE to go that route, I'd want to place something over the drain (like a plate or something) to both stifle the scream and keep fish bits from flying up onto the light fixture above the sink. After all, who wants to clean pet remnants from a light fixture? And if I do that, water wouldn't be able to go down the drain to keep all the bits of Aloe nice and wet.
So basically Choice B is out because I'm too lazy to clean fish shit off of everything. (Before I go on: yes, I have realized that nothing else splats out of the drain, so why would he. I'm using that as a reason because knowing me, it WOULD happen. That kind of stuff happens to me all the time, and thats a whole 'nother sack of potatos to write about).
Anyway, back to my original train of thought. I was telling my neighbors this, and while her horrified expression was leaving her face, she told me that she had a fish who did the same thing. She googled it on-line and diagnosed that her fish had an (are you ready for this??) Obstructed Bowel.
She said it sounded exactly like what happened to hers, so it boils down to the fact that my fish can't take a shit. How funny is that?? Aloe can't squeeze out a turd! She read that feeding him peas would help, and that she gave him a few every day. And after about 6 months, he righted himself and was better. Wow, 6 months. That must have been some murky water the day he became 'well' again.
I tried giving Aloe some frozen peas but the poor little guy couldn't right himself enough to eat it. He flippered his way over to it and tried, but it was just too big for him.....and then the pea thawed and sank. I then tried thawing them out for him and THEN giving them to him, but they just sank right past his hungry little fishy-face that was desperately trying to get some fiber.
So now I'm at a crossroads. What do I do? I still feed him regular food, but I don't know if it's helping him. The peas cloud up the water faster than you can say "Does this topic really deserve it's own blog?", so I don't want to keep feeding them to him if he's not going to eat them. Should I call the vet and see what she thinks? (You can bet your ass I'm not going to call the vet about a $4.99 fish that I bought out of sheer boredom). Or should I just break down and go to the pet store and see what they think? I'd prefer not to do that, because, well, the kids have fun at the pet store and who am I to bring joy into their lives?
In reality, that's what I'm going to do. Not that they are marine biologists over there at PetSmart, but maybe they have an idea. And if not, we'll welcome home Aloe Jr.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
My Eloquence comes through for me, yet again.
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I really haven't had much to say. But lucky for you, something happened to me today that is blog-worthy...or at least I think you will get a kick out of it.
So I pick the Rock-Star up from preschool and we hit dunkin' donuts before heading over to the RV store to pick up a cover for our camper. Now, there are several DnD's that I frequent. This one is part of a gas station that is near an entrance to the highway, so it's my go-to one when travelling.
I get to the window and begin to order. I kid you not how this went. This is our conversation, verbatim:
ME: "Extra Large Green Tea with skim milk only, please". I say 'only' so they don't even have to ask if I want sugar. No, I don't.
GIRL: What do you want in your tea????
ME: Skim milk only, please.
GIRL: You want milk in your tea????
ME: Yes please.
GIRL: Why do you want milk in your tea? Does that even taste good?
This is where my eloquence comes into action. I wanted to show her in some way that I was displeased with her line of questioning, yet not be rude because there are ALL sorts of things she could do to my drink.
ME: Dude!
Way to go, Captain Thesaurus.
GIRL: Okay, DUUUUUUDE (obviously making fun of me). Milk in your Tea. Do you want anything else?
I then proceeded with the rest of my order. I also got a drink for Ian and a piece of fresh fruit for him...because that's what they have at YOUR dunkin' donuts, right? I mean, I wouldn't get him any of the conventional crap that they serve.
When I got up to the window I was annoyed. There were a few girls wearing the headsets, so I couldn't easily pick out who led the Inquisition. I would understand if I ordered a coffee with monkey piss or if I asked her to drop a deuce in my hot chocolate, but c'mon. I kept looking at those with headsets but no one acknowledged our little exchange of Shakespearian dialogue.
Tea with milk, it's not that friggin' odd. Speaking of odd and for those who are wondering, yes I do have the same quirk with tea as I do with coffee. For those that DON'T know, here is my quirk:
If I am at home, in a restaurant, or somewhere else where you can just sit and chill and have a cup of coffee in a ceramic mug I drink it black. If I go to Interrogation Donuts, or 7-11 or somewhere else that serves coffee in the paper or styrofoam cups I drink it with milk. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it may be to cool it down a bit. I don't remember starting this or following any line of reasoning. But its the way I do it, and as we all know, change is bad.
Okay, thats really it for today. So if we meet up anytime soon, please excuse my floppy tongue, primitive grunts and chest thumping as I'm sure I'll be unable to adequately hold a basic conversation using more than two syllable words.
So I pick the Rock-Star up from preschool and we hit dunkin' donuts before heading over to the RV store to pick up a cover for our camper. Now, there are several DnD's that I frequent. This one is part of a gas station that is near an entrance to the highway, so it's my go-to one when travelling.
I get to the window and begin to order. I kid you not how this went. This is our conversation, verbatim:
ME: "Extra Large Green Tea with skim milk only, please". I say 'only' so they don't even have to ask if I want sugar. No, I don't.
GIRL: What do you want in your tea????
ME: Skim milk only, please.
GIRL: You want milk in your tea????
ME: Yes please.
GIRL: Why do you want milk in your tea? Does that even taste good?
This is where my eloquence comes into action. I wanted to show her in some way that I was displeased with her line of questioning, yet not be rude because there are ALL sorts of things she could do to my drink.
ME: Dude!
Way to go, Captain Thesaurus.
GIRL: Okay, DUUUUUUDE (obviously making fun of me). Milk in your Tea. Do you want anything else?
I then proceeded with the rest of my order. I also got a drink for Ian and a piece of fresh fruit for him...because that's what they have at YOUR dunkin' donuts, right? I mean, I wouldn't get him any of the conventional crap that they serve.
When I got up to the window I was annoyed. There were a few girls wearing the headsets, so I couldn't easily pick out who led the Inquisition. I would understand if I ordered a coffee with monkey piss or if I asked her to drop a deuce in my hot chocolate, but c'mon. I kept looking at those with headsets but no one acknowledged our little exchange of Shakespearian dialogue.
Tea with milk, it's not that friggin' odd. Speaking of odd and for those who are wondering, yes I do have the same quirk with tea as I do with coffee. For those that DON'T know, here is my quirk:
If I am at home, in a restaurant, or somewhere else where you can just sit and chill and have a cup of coffee in a ceramic mug I drink it black. If I go to Interrogation Donuts, or 7-11 or somewhere else that serves coffee in the paper or styrofoam cups I drink it with milk. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it may be to cool it down a bit. I don't remember starting this or following any line of reasoning. But its the way I do it, and as we all know, change is bad.
Okay, thats really it for today. So if we meet up anytime soon, please excuse my floppy tongue, primitive grunts and chest thumping as I'm sure I'll be unable to adequately hold a basic conversation using more than two syllable words.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
26.2: Check!
Been there, done that. Just kidding! Here is the story behind my experience at the Philadelphia Marathon:
Saturday night I checked the weather several times, and it was calling for rain throughout the whole day. That started to seriously bum me out, because I was hoping for perfect race day conditions as I didn't want to be waterlogged even before starting, thus starting cold and wet...didn't sound fun to me!
But then I remembered a conversation I had with a running buddy the week before and he said to just remember: no matter what you're going through, every other runner is dealing with too. That kind of put my mind at ease a bit and thus took a c'est la vis approach to it: can't do anything about it, so fuck it!
We were staying at my brothers house from the Friday before the race til the day after Thanksgiving. As you may know, our kids tend to be horrible sleepers, so on the eve of the race I opted to sleep on the living room couch. It was comfy, dark and quiet. That means Muy Bueno! It took about 15min to fall asleep, but once I did, I slept soundly until my cell phone alarm went off at 4:10am.
Race time was 7am, but I wanted to get there a lot earlier to scope out the weather conditions and make a game time decision as far as what to wear. I got up plenty early to get a decent meal in me and allow my body plenty of time and opportunity to, shall we say evacuate, in a nice, warm home-like environment.
My sister-in-law drove me into the city, and we left around 5:30 to give us time to get a parking spot and get to the race area.
We got to the starting area around 6:30, but wouldn't you know it I had to um, evacuate, a second time...nerves I guess. So I hopped in line and waited 15 minutes or so.
After the bathroom Erin and I were looking to see what all of the other runners were wearing and it was kind of split down the middle. A lot were wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirt or long sleeved shirt. Others had pants and long sleeved shirt.
I had already dressed in shorts, long pants, long shirt and short sleeved shirt over it. Erin had written my name on the front of my short sleeved shirt (AWESOME idea by the way!!!), so I knew I was going to wear that on top. But my dilemma was whether or not I should go with the pants.
I was pretty chilly even while wearing them, and since there were plenty of other people wearing pants I decided to stick with them...also because my bib (For you non-running folks, the 'bib' is that paper with your race number or ID on it) was already pinned to them, so it would have been a pain to change it.
So I also had a hat and gloves with me, that I decided to bring...Again, I already had them on and was chilly, so it wouldn't hurt to start with them..I could always ditch them later if it warmed up and I didn't want to carry them.
So Erin bode we farewell and good luck and I lined up with the 5hr pace group. I introduced myself to the pacer and then began chatting with a few women and we all decided that we would stick together. No one knew each other previously so it was good: No hard feelings whatsoever if someone wanted to push ahead or fall behind.
The race started and away we went! Mile 1 went down the Ben Franklin Parkway and then snaked through some streets. There was a lot of dodging sweatshirts, hats gloves and whatnot that were just thrown straight to the ground. A lot of people threw them off to side, but I was surprised how many just dropped them where they were, right in the way of thousands of people behind them.
Mile 1: 10:26. That kind of surprised me, as it was a good 40 seconds ahead of what the pacegroup wristband said we would do the first mile in. But I shrugged it off as maybe the pacer was just banking some time for later in the race.
Mile 2 was more of the same as far as dodging clothes. I kept my hat & gloves on and just kept grooving along. Mile 2 time: 10:44.
Mile 3 found a water stop and shortly thereafter I noticed that i had to pee again. I was VERY surprised as I had already gone several times already. I guess all the water from the previous day was catching up to me....so i veered off to this little area where other people were going and then caught up to my little group. Mile 3: 10:56
Miles 4 & 5 were pretty non-descript. Our little group found ourselves slightly ahead of the 5hr group, but I wasn't too concerned as we were going at an easy pace. I did have a split-second reconsideration, as I knew the pacer would keep his pace, and I should go by that rather than running with three girls, but we were less than a quarter mile in front, so I shrugged it off. Miles 4 & 5: 10:50, 10:54.
Mile 5 included a decent-sized hill and one of the girls in our group started saying that she just wasn't getting into her groove. She said that maybe she tapered TOO much because she wasn't comfortable at all.
I was feeling great, and at the 6mi water station I took a gel because that's what I've been doing on my training runs (taking gels every 6 miles). Mile 6: 10:36.
It was right around this point that the pacer called out my name and waved...letting me (and everyone else in hearing distance) know that I was ahead of the pace group. Looking back, I know he was just looking out for me, since I signed up for his group and he didn't want me to gas early, but at the time I kind of got offended at that. Way to publicly call me out, pal. I just waved back and stayed right where I was. Fuckin' Dicknose.
Mile 7 10:21
Mile 8 included another hill, and a water stop which we walked through so our partner who wasn't having a great day could catch her breath, stretch and get another gel. Mile 8: 11:31
Miles 9-11 were more of the same: slow easy pace, good conversations and still staying within 100yds in front of the 5hr pace group.
Mile 9: 10:47
Mile 10: 11:07
Mile 11: 10:30
Throughout the entire race I was taking my hat and gloves off and putting them back on. We'd be in this one area where the wind was dead, so I'd take them off, but then we'd turn a corner or switch directions and it would pick up and I'd be really chilly. So I'm glad that I never threw them to the ground, I just tucked them into my waistband.
Okay, mile 12 is when the race started to get 'not fun' for me. We were trotting along and all of a sudden I noticed a pain forming on the outside of my right knee. I have occasionally felt 'pressure' there AFTER long runs, but never PAIN during a run.
I tried to shake it off, mentally telling myself that it was just my brain telling me that it wasn't having fun (even though I was VERY comfortable otherwise). No dice. It got bad enough where I was doing a Terry Fox kind of stride. I just started thinking to myself "Good God, no. I'm not stopping. I've been training long and hard for this and to bonk out at 12 measly miles? Fuck you".
Immediately one of the other 3 girls noticed. I was about 3 steps behind them and she kept asking how I was doing. I told her I was doing fine, just hanging back a bit. Almost immediately the girl who never quite got into the race to begin with said she was slowing way down. Apparently she was hitting a wall. So she hung WAY back, while I just slowed down a little to see if I could run through it while staying with the other two girls in the running group.
Mile 12: 10:56
Mile 13: 10:47
We crossed the Half Marathon finish line and people were cheering like CRAZY. I got lots of personal encouragement (remember, I had my name on the front). That got my adrenaline going and I was able to run strongly through the downtown area in no pain at all.
Mile 14: 10:26
In the 15th mile, the brother of one of the girls I was running with hopped in and joined us for a bit. He is a Marine, so we all thanked him for his service and we all began chatting for a bit. He then veered off so he could get back to the rest of his family. Mile 15: 10:23
Mile 16 is where the pain came back, and with a vengence. One of the 2 remaining running partners asked if I wanted some advil. ADVIL? You have advil and didn't tell me about it 4 miles ago??????? WTF?
Of course i wasn't mad at her, and didn't even act like I was. I just graciously said YES! and at the next water stop I grabbed the advil, bid my awesome running partners adieu as at this point I would only slow them down. They wished me luck and ran on, while I took the advil, re-tied my shoes and stopped to stretch for a minute. Mile 16: 11:32
Mile 17 was more of the same: slogg for a bit, then slow to walk/stretch, etc. Mile 17: 12:42
I knew that Allison and the kids, my brother, his two kids and aunt and cousin would see me around mile 20, so I needed to get all this walking and stretching crap out of the way now. I wanted to look good and strong for them.
I started up again and the advil must have kicked in, because my knee felt better. Although it was right around mile 17 that I could feel the heat of a blister forming on the ball of my right foot. GREAT. something else that I have NEVER gotten during a run. But other than that, I felt okay...I mean, I felt good, but I was tired because at this point I had run 17 miles!
Mile 18: 10:16
Mile 19 was probably one of the BEST water stops I've ever encountered: Orange Wedges. Man, those REALLY hit the spot. I mean I didn't know it, but I think i was even craving them because I took a whole handful of them and ate them like there was no tomorrow! Someone was also handing out brownies, so I took a little square of that too.
Mile 19: 10:51
Mile 20 is where I saw my family. Although I was feeling better, it was still AWESOME to see them right before the turnaround. It was exactly the boost and pick-me-up I needed to see my 3.5yr old son yell "Run Daddy Run!". I stopped and posed for pictures for a minute and chatted with my family and a cop who was just standing there too.
I bid them farewell and continued to the turnaround....until Ian yelled for me, so I just HAD to go back and give him another kiss! So after I did the turnaround, I saw them again..I mean not even a minute after I bid them goodbye! I posed for another picture and told everybody I'd see them at the end.
Mile 20: 12:09
Mile 21 found another waterstop with oranges and also in that mile I realized I had to pee again, so found a not-so-well hidden place where others were going and relieved myself. Also, I found it hard to get back into my groove after peeing, so I took a few walk breaks Mile 21: 12:40
In Mile 22 I was doing yet another walk break when I heard a pack of people slogging up behind me and then pass me. It was Captain Dicknose and the 5hr pace group. Ever since he called me out early in the race, I had made it my mission to stay in front of them. DOH!
I NEEDED to beat him. You know what? F this guy. He's not going to beat me. I hopped right in step behind him and re-joined the group. There were probably only 8 people left, and only 2 of them looked better than I felt. So I knew I could keep up.
Mile 22: 11:09
Mile 23: 12:01
The pace group took an extended walk break at the next water station and the pacer gave a bit of a pep talk. We counted down from 10 and began running again. He said we were ahead of schedule, so we'd take the next mile slow.
Mile 24: 12:25.
It was at this point that the pacer said that he was still a little ahead of schedule but HIGHLY encouraged anyone who could push on to do so. He said "if you can go, GO! GO NOW! Don't hang back if you have it in you!".
Well, I'll be if that wasn't the invitation I'd been waiting for. I was going to wait a bit longer before pulling away, but here was my opportunity.
I put my head down, mentally flipped off the pacer, and focused on my breathing. Once I felt my body synch up I looked up and pressed on.
The next two miles were I have to say the hardest two miles I've ever run. I was too close to the finish to walk...F that. I was going to run this thing out..but it took all I had to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I remember thinking at one point that I reasoned not stopping because it took more energy to stop and walk than it did to keep running.
But I kept going and just kept thinking to myself that I'm soooo close to becoming a marathoner. Heck, I was even PASSING people!
Mile 25: 11:05
Mile 26 is when the crowds came back into play. THere was LOTS of cheering and encouragement and THIS is when I was glad that I had my name on my shirt. Spectators would call my name and I would look them in the eye as they told me I looked great and that I was near the finish line.
Mile 26: 10:39
The crowds got bigger and louder and then I saw Erin in the crowd cheering me on. All of a sudden the finish line was in sight. It took all I had, but I managed to pull out a full-on sprint to the finish and raised my arms as I crossed the line.
CHIP TIME: 4:55:03
My goal was to finish between 4:45-5:00 so I managed to pull that out even with the unexpected early 'injury'.
Immediately after the race, runners were treated to cup of hot chicken broth. As soon as I saw that, I can honestly say I got excited! That totally hit the spot and couldn't imagine anything else that I would want to drink at that point in time...a plate of oranges with it would have just been the bees knees!
Post-Race, Erin and I picked up cheesesteaks for everybody from Pats, but then we stopped at Geno's for a cheesesteak for me so I could compare the two. Yeah, that's right: I had two cheesesteaks. Guess what? I rounded out that shit with some cheese fries, probably a third of a pan of brownies and about fourteen beers. I was a freakin' bottomless pit after the race. Not to mention that I was practically completely sober as well as the last one to go to bed that night!
Before the gorgefest though, I took an ice bath before my shower to help with the soreness. Doesn't that sound enticing? It's as horrible as it sounds, but the 10 minutes of agony is worth the relief it provides. In case you can't visualize it, here are my titanic toes in the middle of the ice field:
Saturday night I checked the weather several times, and it was calling for rain throughout the whole day. That started to seriously bum me out, because I was hoping for perfect race day conditions as I didn't want to be waterlogged even before starting, thus starting cold and wet...didn't sound fun to me!
But then I remembered a conversation I had with a running buddy the week before and he said to just remember: no matter what you're going through, every other runner is dealing with too. That kind of put my mind at ease a bit and thus took a c'est la vis approach to it: can't do anything about it, so fuck it!
We were staying at my brothers house from the Friday before the race til the day after Thanksgiving. As you may know, our kids tend to be horrible sleepers, so on the eve of the race I opted to sleep on the living room couch. It was comfy, dark and quiet. That means Muy Bueno! It took about 15min to fall asleep, but once I did, I slept soundly until my cell phone alarm went off at 4:10am.
Race time was 7am, but I wanted to get there a lot earlier to scope out the weather conditions and make a game time decision as far as what to wear. I got up plenty early to get a decent meal in me and allow my body plenty of time and opportunity to, shall we say evacuate, in a nice, warm home-like environment.
My sister-in-law drove me into the city, and we left around 5:30 to give us time to get a parking spot and get to the race area.
We got to the starting area around 6:30, but wouldn't you know it I had to um, evacuate, a second time...nerves I guess. So I hopped in line and waited 15 minutes or so.
After the bathroom Erin and I were looking to see what all of the other runners were wearing and it was kind of split down the middle. A lot were wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirt or long sleeved shirt. Others had pants and long sleeved shirt.
I had already dressed in shorts, long pants, long shirt and short sleeved shirt over it. Erin had written my name on the front of my short sleeved shirt (AWESOME idea by the way!!!), so I knew I was going to wear that on top. But my dilemma was whether or not I should go with the pants.
I was pretty chilly even while wearing them, and since there were plenty of other people wearing pants I decided to stick with them...also because my bib (For you non-running folks, the 'bib' is that paper with your race number or ID on it) was already pinned to them, so it would have been a pain to change it.
So I also had a hat and gloves with me, that I decided to bring...Again, I already had them on and was chilly, so it wouldn't hurt to start with them..I could always ditch them later if it warmed up and I didn't want to carry them.
So Erin bode we farewell and good luck and I lined up with the 5hr pace group. I introduced myself to the pacer and then began chatting with a few women and we all decided that we would stick together. No one knew each other previously so it was good: No hard feelings whatsoever if someone wanted to push ahead or fall behind.
The race started and away we went! Mile 1 went down the Ben Franklin Parkway and then snaked through some streets. There was a lot of dodging sweatshirts, hats gloves and whatnot that were just thrown straight to the ground. A lot of people threw them off to side, but I was surprised how many just dropped them where they were, right in the way of thousands of people behind them.
Mile 1: 10:26. That kind of surprised me, as it was a good 40 seconds ahead of what the pacegroup wristband said we would do the first mile in. But I shrugged it off as maybe the pacer was just banking some time for later in the race.
Mile 2 was more of the same as far as dodging clothes. I kept my hat & gloves on and just kept grooving along. Mile 2 time: 10:44.
Mile 3 found a water stop and shortly thereafter I noticed that i had to pee again. I was VERY surprised as I had already gone several times already. I guess all the water from the previous day was catching up to me....so i veered off to this little area where other people were going and then caught up to my little group. Mile 3: 10:56
Miles 4 & 5 were pretty non-descript. Our little group found ourselves slightly ahead of the 5hr group, but I wasn't too concerned as we were going at an easy pace. I did have a split-second reconsideration, as I knew the pacer would keep his pace, and I should go by that rather than running with three girls, but we were less than a quarter mile in front, so I shrugged it off. Miles 4 & 5: 10:50, 10:54.
Mile 5 included a decent-sized hill and one of the girls in our group started saying that she just wasn't getting into her groove. She said that maybe she tapered TOO much because she wasn't comfortable at all.
I was feeling great, and at the 6mi water station I took a gel because that's what I've been doing on my training runs (taking gels every 6 miles). Mile 6: 10:36.
It was right around this point that the pacer called out my name and waved...letting me (and everyone else in hearing distance) know that I was ahead of the pace group. Looking back, I know he was just looking out for me, since I signed up for his group and he didn't want me to gas early, but at the time I kind of got offended at that. Way to publicly call me out, pal. I just waved back and stayed right where I was. Fuckin' Dicknose.
Mile 7 10:21
Mile 8 included another hill, and a water stop which we walked through so our partner who wasn't having a great day could catch her breath, stretch and get another gel. Mile 8: 11:31
Miles 9-11 were more of the same: slow easy pace, good conversations and still staying within 100yds in front of the 5hr pace group.
Mile 9: 10:47
Mile 10: 11:07
Mile 11: 10:30
Throughout the entire race I was taking my hat and gloves off and putting them back on. We'd be in this one area where the wind was dead, so I'd take them off, but then we'd turn a corner or switch directions and it would pick up and I'd be really chilly. So I'm glad that I never threw them to the ground, I just tucked them into my waistband.
Okay, mile 12 is when the race started to get 'not fun' for me. We were trotting along and all of a sudden I noticed a pain forming on the outside of my right knee. I have occasionally felt 'pressure' there AFTER long runs, but never PAIN during a run.
I tried to shake it off, mentally telling myself that it was just my brain telling me that it wasn't having fun (even though I was VERY comfortable otherwise). No dice. It got bad enough where I was doing a Terry Fox kind of stride. I just started thinking to myself "Good God, no. I'm not stopping. I've been training long and hard for this and to bonk out at 12 measly miles? Fuck you".
Immediately one of the other 3 girls noticed. I was about 3 steps behind them and she kept asking how I was doing. I told her I was doing fine, just hanging back a bit. Almost immediately the girl who never quite got into the race to begin with said she was slowing way down. Apparently she was hitting a wall. So she hung WAY back, while I just slowed down a little to see if I could run through it while staying with the other two girls in the running group.
Mile 12: 10:56
Mile 13: 10:47
We crossed the Half Marathon finish line and people were cheering like CRAZY. I got lots of personal encouragement (remember, I had my name on the front). That got my adrenaline going and I was able to run strongly through the downtown area in no pain at all.
Mile 14: 10:26
In the 15th mile, the brother of one of the girls I was running with hopped in and joined us for a bit. He is a Marine, so we all thanked him for his service and we all began chatting for a bit. He then veered off so he could get back to the rest of his family. Mile 15: 10:23
Mile 16 is where the pain came back, and with a vengence. One of the 2 remaining running partners asked if I wanted some advil. ADVIL? You have advil and didn't tell me about it 4 miles ago??????? WTF?
Of course i wasn't mad at her, and didn't even act like I was. I just graciously said YES! and at the next water stop I grabbed the advil, bid my awesome running partners adieu as at this point I would only slow them down. They wished me luck and ran on, while I took the advil, re-tied my shoes and stopped to stretch for a minute. Mile 16: 11:32
Mile 17 was more of the same: slogg for a bit, then slow to walk/stretch, etc. Mile 17: 12:42
I knew that Allison and the kids, my brother, his two kids and aunt and cousin would see me around mile 20, so I needed to get all this walking and stretching crap out of the way now. I wanted to look good and strong for them.
I started up again and the advil must have kicked in, because my knee felt better. Although it was right around mile 17 that I could feel the heat of a blister forming on the ball of my right foot. GREAT. something else that I have NEVER gotten during a run. But other than that, I felt okay...I mean, I felt good, but I was tired because at this point I had run 17 miles!
Mile 18: 10:16
Mile 19 was probably one of the BEST water stops I've ever encountered: Orange Wedges. Man, those REALLY hit the spot. I mean I didn't know it, but I think i was even craving them because I took a whole handful of them and ate them like there was no tomorrow! Someone was also handing out brownies, so I took a little square of that too.
Mile 19: 10:51
Mile 20 is where I saw my family. Although I was feeling better, it was still AWESOME to see them right before the turnaround. It was exactly the boost and pick-me-up I needed to see my 3.5yr old son yell "Run Daddy Run!". I stopped and posed for pictures for a minute and chatted with my family and a cop who was just standing there too.
I bid them farewell and continued to the turnaround....until Ian yelled for me, so I just HAD to go back and give him another kiss! So after I did the turnaround, I saw them again..I mean not even a minute after I bid them goodbye! I posed for another picture and told everybody I'd see them at the end.
Mile 20: 12:09
Mile 21 found another waterstop with oranges and also in that mile I realized I had to pee again, so found a not-so-well hidden place where others were going and relieved myself. Also, I found it hard to get back into my groove after peeing, so I took a few walk breaks Mile 21: 12:40
In Mile 22 I was doing yet another walk break when I heard a pack of people slogging up behind me and then pass me. It was Captain Dicknose and the 5hr pace group. Ever since he called me out early in the race, I had made it my mission to stay in front of them. DOH!
I NEEDED to beat him. You know what? F this guy. He's not going to beat me. I hopped right in step behind him and re-joined the group. There were probably only 8 people left, and only 2 of them looked better than I felt. So I knew I could keep up.
Mile 22: 11:09
Mile 23: 12:01
The pace group took an extended walk break at the next water station and the pacer gave a bit of a pep talk. We counted down from 10 and began running again. He said we were ahead of schedule, so we'd take the next mile slow.
Mile 24: 12:25.
It was at this point that the pacer said that he was still a little ahead of schedule but HIGHLY encouraged anyone who could push on to do so. He said "if you can go, GO! GO NOW! Don't hang back if you have it in you!".
Well, I'll be if that wasn't the invitation I'd been waiting for. I was going to wait a bit longer before pulling away, but here was my opportunity.
I put my head down, mentally flipped off the pacer, and focused on my breathing. Once I felt my body synch up I looked up and pressed on.
The next two miles were I have to say the hardest two miles I've ever run. I was too close to the finish to walk...F that. I was going to run this thing out..but it took all I had to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I remember thinking at one point that I reasoned not stopping because it took more energy to stop and walk than it did to keep running.
But I kept going and just kept thinking to myself that I'm soooo close to becoming a marathoner. Heck, I was even PASSING people!
Mile 25: 11:05
Mile 26 is when the crowds came back into play. THere was LOTS of cheering and encouragement and THIS is when I was glad that I had my name on my shirt. Spectators would call my name and I would look them in the eye as they told me I looked great and that I was near the finish line.
Mile 26: 10:39
The crowds got bigger and louder and then I saw Erin in the crowd cheering me on. All of a sudden the finish line was in sight. It took all I had, but I managed to pull out a full-on sprint to the finish and raised my arms as I crossed the line.
CHIP TIME: 4:55:03
My goal was to finish between 4:45-5:00 so I managed to pull that out even with the unexpected early 'injury'.
Immediately after the race, runners were treated to cup of hot chicken broth. As soon as I saw that, I can honestly say I got excited! That totally hit the spot and couldn't imagine anything else that I would want to drink at that point in time...a plate of oranges with it would have just been the bees knees!
Post-Race, Erin and I picked up cheesesteaks for everybody from Pats, but then we stopped at Geno's for a cheesesteak for me so I could compare the two. Yeah, that's right: I had two cheesesteaks. Guess what? I rounded out that shit with some cheese fries, probably a third of a pan of brownies and about fourteen beers. I was a freakin' bottomless pit after the race. Not to mention that I was practically completely sober as well as the last one to go to bed that night!
Before the gorgefest though, I took an ice bath before my shower to help with the soreness. Doesn't that sound enticing? It's as horrible as it sounds, but the 10 minutes of agony is worth the relief it provides. In case you can't visualize it, here are my titanic toes in the middle of the ice field:
Before the trip Erin had promised me a massage (she's a massage therapist at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia) after the race to also help with the soreness and I must confess: I was SOOO looking forward to it. I have only had one professional massage before and that was a few years ago on vacation in Arizona. It was friggin' phenomenal and have been jonesin' for another one ever since. She said she would do it Sunday, but her kids needed soothing back to sleep, so she went and took care of them and then just crashed for the night. I certainly don't blame her.
Monday I woke up with a VERY sore right knee and had a giant blister on the bottom of my right foot. So Erin did what no sister-in-law should EVER have to do: She volunteered to pop that bad boy (the blister, not the knee!). She poked the thing with a safety pin and immediately she was greeted with a spray of blister juice....right in her face. She laughed, and I wanted to as well, but first I had to swallow the puke that had quickly gurgled up and found its way into my mouth. So we bandaged my foot up, I took some Ibuprofin and just kind of hung out and relaxed.
Monday evening Erin set up her massage table and got all the stuff together and told me to hop on. I was treated to the BEST 3 hour massage of my life. I didn't know it would last that long, but let me tell you what a pleasant surprise that was!!!!!
She did a phenomenal job and paid extra attention to my sore knee. Apparently what she did worked, because there is no pain there anymore at all. I was treated to another massage Wednesday night to work out the final kinks and now I feel as good as ever!
I'm a wee bit concerned about the knee in the future, but like I said it's feeling good now so only time will tell.
So I can officially say it: I've run a marathon! 
I'm not about to run out and sign up for a spring marathon, but I'm certainly not ruling out future ones. But as expected I think Half Marathons are more my cup of tea. So maybe I'll just sign up for a marathon every OTHER year or so. All I can say right now is that I'm glad the training is over, as is Allison.
The plans for the immediate future is to focus on getting back into the gym on a regular basis to get rid of the flab that has developed due to the lack of dedicated gym time.
I'd like to thank all of you who have supported me and my running, especially you Allison! I certainly couldn't have done it without you and your support, encouragement and occasional kick in the ass to get out there and run on the days that I didn't want to! Thanks to everyone who have ran with me, gave advice, cheered me on and even those who told me to stop running because I'm just going to hurt myself. Well, I take that back. To those people I say: Ha! I did it!
Oh, and one more "bite me" to Pacer Mike. Of course I don't mean that...like I said, I know he was just looking out for me. But thanks for the motivation to finish strong! Without you I could have missed my goal!
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