Ians Party & the Boys Camping Trip

Allison already blogged about Ian's birthday, so I won't go into too much detail about it, besides what I promised: And thats watching Buzz Lightyear poop candy.

As you may or may not know, Ian is completely obsessed with the Toy Story characters. So we decided to throw Ian a "Buzz" party. Included in the Buzz Lightyear package that Allison ordered was a Buzz Pinata.

While everyone was eating, I hung up the pinata, which is Buzz Lightyear with his hands on his hips giving the funniest/creepiest ear-to-ear grin. Kinda like the big bowling pin at the kids fair, but since it was BUZZ, Ian looked beyond that.

I hung it in the garage since it was rainy and wet outside. After everyone ate, Allison wrangled up all the kids and brought them down to commence the Lightyear bashing. . Long story short, all the kids took turns whacking the hell out of the thing with no success. A few kids even slipped on the floor (because bubbles were spilt earlier which made part of the floor a little slick). After everyone had a turn or two, Allison called a ceasefire.

I didn't know this until this past winter, but these pre-made pinatas had an 'escape hatch', which is an alternative way of dumping the candy if you can't break it open. We never did pinatas as a kid, so this was news to me. Buzz's escape hatch happen to be on his, ahem, can.

Allison gleefully yanked those strings and Buzz's poopchute opened and out flowed all the goodness and joy of childhood. Some of the adults got a kick out of watching buzz dangle on the string and seeing tootsie rolls and such fall out of him. I didn't get a good picture of him shitting candy, but here is one of Ian taking a wack at him:




------------------

As you may or may not know, we bought a pop-up camper last month. I've always loved camping and Allison, well, hasn't. I want to get the family into camping more so this was our compromise...we get to go camping and she gets a bed.

Well two weeks ago we got the opportunity to take the camper out for its inaugural trip. We meaning Ian and I. Allison had to go out of state for bridal shower (she's in the wedding) so she took Leah with her so Ian and I got a boys weekend to go on a brand new adventure.

Since I hadn't towed the camper since the day we brought it home, I made reservations for a "pull-though" campsite at a family campground not too far away. A pull-through site is exactly as it sounds, and it allows you to just, well, pull through and not worry about backing up and jockeying the camper into position. I chose to do that because I hadn't practiced backing up and parking, and didn't want to have to worry about it with just Ian and I.

Anyhoo, We left our house at 11am and arrived at Jellystone Park in Sturbridge, MA about 30min later. Once we got there, we saw that the pull through sites were pretty much just a grassy island right in front of the campground...there are dirt roads all around it and it's right next to the general store. Both the woman behind the desk and I agreed that a more secluded site would be better. I decided the hassle of having to back up was absolutely worth getting a safer, more relaxing site.

I'm proud to say that I actually did pretty well! I had to pull forward twice, once to start-over and once to straighten out. I also had to get out of the car to get another look at the site about halfway through the process, but other than that, I was all backed up and in position in about 5 minutes!

Of course Ian wanted to go exploring the minute we got there, but I wanted to get everything all set up as he was skipping his nap and I KNEW there would be no patience on his end (or mine!)later in the day. So I was able to get him to "help" me by dragging around the water container and hauling & stacking some Lynx levelers (plastic blocks used for leveling the camper). I never really got 'settled in', but rather just stored everything on one bunkend leaving the couch, dinette area and other bunkend available.

Once we were all settled in away we went! We went the playground for awhile, which was a whole 50' from our site. We also had the water-park about 50yds from where we were too. It wasn't much, just a big pool, jacuzzi, water slide and snack shop. But it was PLENTY enough for Ian to stay busy for a few hours. As long as he had his Nemo Fins (his floaties) he was good to go!

As I said, we were only a half hour away from home and it was thundering and raining there, but the sky was absolutely beautiful and clear by us. It was even HOT, maybe 85 degrees. Of course we had to take a break from the swimming to gobble up some ice cream. Ian couldn't wait to get back in the pool though!

I could tell that he was wearing down (he had no nap remember, and by this time it was probably 3:30), so we went back to the site, changed our clothes and went to go check out the rest of the campground. We saw a lake with a beach & another playground so we spent some time there and then we poked around the general store/game room/snack shack area. He met up with some new friends and they played and ran around for quite awhile.

I was getting hungry, so we went back and as I was preparing dinner, I let him watch a DVD to keep him stationary and in-sight/out of trouble. After dinner we went to the pavillion (next to the general store) to check out the band that was playing on the little stage there, as you know, Ian LOVES watching live music being played. They were a cheesy band, but perfect for the atmosphere.

Ian didn't eat much dinner, so he was saying that he was hungry. We walked down to the general store and since it was a 'special camping trip', I let him pick out what he wanted to eat. You ready for this? Potato Chips and Orange Juice. Let your taste buds contemplate that for a minute. Are you starting to get that juicy, salivating/tingling feeling in your mouth yet due to the completely unnatural and disgusting combination of those to things? BLECH! But he ate the bag and drank almost all of the juice. Hey man, whatever floats his boat!

After he had enough of the band (which was during setbreak), we went back to the campsite and finished the day and unwound with the rest of the DVD while I brewed a pot of coffee and read a magazine.

We all know that Ian is generally not a good sleeper. And we've only slept in the camper one night before this trip, so I was a bit concerned about how he would go to sleep, especially since I didn't want to lay down next to him. I tried explaining to him that i would be over at the table and even though he couldn't see me (I was going to shut the privacy curtains so the light wouldn't bother him), I would still be there.

Yeah, he couldn't care less. He just gave me a goodnight kiss, rolled over so his back was to me and was out in a record of about 4 seconds flat! So I just relaxed with a few cold ones enjoying the sounds & scenery.

We awoke around 6am to dead silence. It wasn't easy keeping Ian quiet, but I kept his chatting to a minimum by stuffing his face with some fresh berries, orange juice and a coloring book. I cooked a breakfast up for myself and while cleaning up I heard some thunder in the distance. We were going to stay the morning up until the 11am checkout time. But as we found out a few days before the trip is hella scared of thunder, so a packing up we did go!

He wanted to go play, but knew thunder was on the horizon so he was a little freaked out. So I put on another DVD to keep his mind preoccupied so I could pack up as quickly as possible The last thing I wanted to deal with was a freaked out toddler while I was packing up the camper.

So he watched his movie inside the camper until I was ready to take it down..I then plugged it into the socket on the outside and dragged the picnic table over next to it while I cranked it down.

When it was time to back my car up to the camper and hitch it back up, I let Ian sit in the passenger seat...a real treat for him! He loves playing in the car, but I downright detest it, so I never let him do it in my car. That way I was 100% sure where he was and didn't worry about running over him. He had a blast sitting in there with a "grown up's" seat belt!

I'm proud to say I completely packed up, broke camp, (including dumping our water from the sink) and was ready to pull away in about an hour and 15 minutes. Not too shabby for a first timer alone with a toddler!

And the icing on the cake was that JUST as we got onto the highway (about a 1/2 mile from the campground) it started to POUR!

The only downside is that since I was in a rush, I didn't get a chance to clean the dirt/mud/etc off the floor, but thats the way it goes.

But the bottom line is this: I had an absolute blast camping with Ian and can say that I am totally hooked on the pop-up! I just love all the amenities that it provides! I can't wait to go again with Allison and Leah so we can enjoy it as a family!

And coming in at #1....

Edit: Ok, so I'm still trying to figure out how this thing works. My 'intro' blog is right below this one, so you might want to skip this first one now and read the next one first...does that make sense? Wow, what a way to kick this thing off, eh?

I FOUND IT! This is my favorite blog that I wrote. It's from 10/17/06 and deals with an issue I had with a neighbor. Enjoy!

Fasten your seat belts, I'm about to rant. NC-17 Rated.
Current mood: predatory

I'm going to start off with a warning: All children, please avert your eyes and find another blog to read...this aint gonna be pretty. Besides you may see some words here that you may not understand the meaning now, but if repeated will elicit a reaction on your parents faces that you've never seen before. Or if you have a queasy stomach and don't like foul language, move on.

(Well, gee if that isn't a tempting statement for those underage or curious readers I don't know what is! And do you think someone would actually read that and say "okay, maybe I shouldn't keep reading".)

Okay, fuck that. I'm not going to get sidetracked this early. I'm gonna get right down to the nitty gritty right away. What the FUCK is wrong with people? I know that's a broad, generalized question but let me elaborate.

I got Ian down for a nap and go outside to get our mail. What did I encounter? A big, heaping, steaming, gloriously rancid pile of dogshit. Where is this magnificent specimen of canine ka-ka? On my fuckin' front lawn, right next to my fuckin' mailbox. I am so goddammed mad about this, i'm going to repeat that in caps (and then add some cute emoticons to emphasis my rage): ON MY FUCKIN' FRONT LAWN, RIGHT NEXT TO MY FUCKIN MAILBOX.! GGGRRRRRRRR

Okay, so I've found doggy doo-doo on my property before but it was not as blatant as this. For those that haven't been to my (now apparently) dog shit storage unit, we have our front lawn and then we own a little strip of grass off to the side. its about 6' deep and runs maybe 200' long. (Note: Thats just a guess as i'm too pissed off to think clearly.). Anyway, i've seen some there before while mowing the lawn. Gee, and I thought I was mad about that!

But for some reason, since it wasn't in my absolute front yard it didn't bother me so much. Maybe because I believed in the goodness of people and gave them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they thought that it was town property? Afterall, it does seem like no man's land, this little strip between the two properties.

But fuck that shit now. Now I know the real truth. Some freakin Assclown has the audacity to walk around and let their little pooch drop a deuce so fuckin' blatently on other people's property and not clean it up. Let me amend that....judging on the size of this fantastic pile of fecal matter, its no little pooch.

That brings me back to my original question. What the fuck is wrong with people?

I am so determined to find out who this is. And you all that know me....I know I talk a good game, but then will let shit roll off my back when push comes to shove. Not this fuckin' time. I am going to OB-FUCKIN-SESS about this until I find out which fuck-stick of a neighbor the offending crapper is. I swear on all that is liquid and alcoholic, I will ream them a new one once I find out.

How will I find out? I haven't a clue. Well, like I said, deductive reasoning tells me that it wasn't a little dog...so that rules out.....no one. shit. This might be harder than I thought. But I can tell you for sure who it wasn't. There's a guy on my block that has a pitbull. It wasn't him, because last summer he put signs on his front lawn saying "curb your dog". so it has happened to him too!!

Thats another fact that adds to the aggrivation. This knobgobbler has done it before! At least it means that they're not targeting me. But what it DOES mean is that this retarted cocksnacker is too lazy to bring a bag for his goliath when he (or she...lets not discriminate here!) walks it. And its not like they just forgot it just once! This is the 3rd time on my lawn and there's at least one other instance. TRIPLE FUCKING GRRRRRRRRR

Ok, so lets play devils advocate for a minute here. Maybe they were different offenders every time. Maybe every time it WAS someone else who actually happened to forget to bring a pooper scooper or baggie with them. What does it mean to the next person that allows it on my lawn?

Absolutely nothing.

This person is going to be the recipiant of such fury, they're going to need a pooper scooper for themselves. I swear to God I won't even be polite about it. Yeah, they're my neighbors but I don't care...I have realized that I don't need to be friends with everybody in the world. You allow your dog to shit on my yard and you don't clean it up? You deserve the proverbial boot up your ass. I don't want to be friends with you anyway, assmunch.

Okay, so lets take a step back and look at the situation. Someone allowed their horse to shit on my lawn (square on my lawn next to my fuckin' mailbox to boot).

Is it a big deal, i mean, honestly? No.

Will it kill me to take half a roll of paper towels and pick it up and throw it away? No. (and I say half a roll because guess what? It's raining. And dog shit doesn't get firmer and easier to pick up when it gets wet, now does it?)

Do I deal with poop on a daily basis, and doesn't in fact, as the famous book tells us, everybody poop? Yup.

So then why, praytell am I getting so worked up about this? Because some assholic cumdumpster in my neighborhood doesn't respect other people and their property...and this fucktard needs to be dealt with swiftly. And also because I can. I have no life, I have nothing else to do, so I need a little anger in my life. Besides, it makes for great blogging fodder.

So to you, Mr. "Here puppy, shit anywhere you want. It doesn't matter", I tell you this. I will find out who you are. And when I do, I promise I will make you cry. And God forbid not only do I find out WHO you are, but WHERE you LIVE? I'm making a special trip to White Castle just for you.

----Addendum Blog to one above-------

Addendum to rant Meri used a phrase in her comment that reminded me that I forgot to include something in my original rant.

That phrase is "responsible dog owner".

I forgot to say that in no way am I anti-dog, anti-dog owner, or even anti-dog crap. I grew up with dogs and we had dog crap ALL OVER the yard. I don't get all worked up when I go to someone's house now and there is dog crap in their yard. Why? Because they have a dog, it's their property & it just comes with the territory.

I'm all pissy about this because I do NOT have a dog and therefore should NOT have to deal with dog crap in MY yard!

I'm sure that was understood, but I just wanted to put it out there.

And no, no one has pooped on my lawn again yet. But yes, I am watching.

And Away We Go!

Wow, well would you check this place out? (looks around)...I'm diggin' this joint. I think I'll set my 'daddy's bag' down here and call this place home from here on out.



I've been blogging over at Myspace, but have since grown tired of the glitches, inability to save my posts, and especially the stalking from Tom. Has anyone told him that he looks creepy in that picture of his? And what the hell is that scribbled on the white board behind him? Anyway, I'm glad to be here and look forward to many a happy posts.



For those that don't know me, a quick intro: I'm a stay-at-home dad to my 3 yr old son, Ian, and 5 1/2 month old daughter, Leah. I like to talk about my life being a SAHD, and the amusing (and not so amusing) things that happen in my quirky little world.



I also began running a little over a year ago and have dropped 56lbs in the process (insert applause here!). So I'll also include updates on my training, race reports and whatnot in my blogs. What else about me...oh yeah, duh. my FANTASTIC wife also blogs (quickly) about what's going on with her/our kids/us. She more gives a quick synapse while I blab on and on. Please check her blog out here: http://dupreesgal.blogspot.com/.



That about does it for my introduction. I've got TONS to say, and foul language with which to say it! I also have terrible grammar, and my editing skills generally suck, so if I don't catch all my errors and mistypes, please forgive me.



I already posted some of my more recent myspace posts below for your enjoyment. If you've never read any of my 'work', it'll give you a good sampling about what I'm all about. So go through them at your leisure and reminisce about what has happened in my life.

I was going to start my brand new blog tonight, but I'm beat. I gave blood today and am wiped out. I tell ya, I haven't given blood in over a year, and it affects you a great deal differently when you're 50+ lbs lighter!

I'll put up my new one tomorrow night, I promise. I've got so much to say and a brand new forum to say it in....who is excited? THIS GUY! Cheers!

(from 5/20/07) Buzz Lightyear poops Lollipops

I'm BAAAAAAACCCCCKK!!!

Hey all you fantastic and loyal readers!! I'm back for another rendition of don's blog. Oh my, where do I start.

I haven't blogged since before Allison went back to work full-time. Um, that should tell you something! I'll give you a synopsis of life since then:

Before she went back to work we took a 3 or 4 day jaunt to Tampa...what a really fun trip that was!!! Except for one outburst at breakfast one morning, Ian was awesome, including the plane rides.

We went to a zoo one morning, and an aquarium another. We spent every afternoon at the hotel pool where Ian learned to swim with those little arm floatie doohickeys. We called them his 'Nemo Fins', and he swam himself into a coma every time he got in the pool. He actually ASKED to go to bed one night!

So that was March. Lets see, then Allison went back to work. I found out that logistically, hauling two kids around wasn't/isn't as tough as I had imagined. What IS tough is playing with Ian while taking care of an infant. I just can't play with him like I used to, and he knows it. And I think he resents it too, well, at least he did. There was a tough adjustment phase that we went through, but I think he gets it that Leah isn't going anywhere and he needs to deal with her. Don't get me wrong, he loves her....I just think sometimes he wishes things would go back to the way they were BC (Before Cryingbaby).

As Allison blogged about, we (I) put Ian in underwear this past week. We had mixed results with it, and am not sure if I'm going to continue the 'experiment'. Tuesday he did GREAT, as Allison said. There was only one accident early in the morning, and then we were out and about at different stores and whatnot. Every so often I'd ask if he had to go to the potty and he said 'yes', so we went. Picture perfect.

Wednesday Ian had a fever and had 2 accidents right off the bat...and I mean less than 2 minutes after I asked him if he needed to use the potty...he said no, and before I knew it he was S O A K E D. Since he had a fever and wasn't feeling well, I decided to hold off and just put him in diapers.

Thursday he had 2 accidents while at a playground, which is to be expected as he's still learning. But then dropped the motherload. It was the deuce of all deuces..if fact, it probably qualified as a tres.

Did it bother Ian? Not one friggin Iota. He had a friggin' monster turd dangling in his spidey drawers and he acted like nothing was wrong. That pretty much sealed the deal for me as far as just realizing that homey isn't ready to potty train. That's fine...I wish he was, but it is what it is. He just need to be bothered by poopsticks in his caboose by the end of the summer. Little buddy isn't going to miss out on pre-school due to brown tenents living in the basement rent free.

-----------------------

Ian turns 3 tomorrow. If you didn't see the blog that Allison wrote on Friday, CHECK IT OUT. If you know Ian, it'll put a smile on your face. It certainly did for me.
Okay, I was going to go on and talk about Ian's birthday party that was today, but the Soprano's are on soon, so I've got to go.

I promise I'll blog again REAL soon. Topics to be discussed include: Ian's party that was today (um, big thumbs up...Ian was asleep before 7pm!), our new (to us) pop-up camper and my recent as well as upcoming half marathons.

I'll also weigh in on moving my blog over to blogspot. What do y'all think? I'm thinking I will ,because it'll give me the ability to save as I go...these masterpiece essays take awhile to create and myspace doesn't allow you to save and go back to them...well, they let you edit them, but, aw fuck it...I'll talk about it later.

until then, areevaderchee!

By the way, the title of the blog refers to Ian's party today. I'll fill you in later on what it means...but seriously, he did. I never thought I would see a space ranger deficate delicious goodies, but I did. AND he did it with a smile too!

From (3/20/07) A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table

Hey folks...I've got some stories, but I'm feeling like a heaping pile of horse shit today, so I'll just post something that was put up at the stay-at-home-dad forum that I frequent. It's pretty damn funny:

A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids' Table
MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let's talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won't tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren't.
MOM: I'm angry! I'm angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I'm angry, too! We're angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I'm crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don't tell the kids.
Originally from HERE

(from 3/8/07) The rest of our trip to NJ & PA

My last blog was just about the one adventure during our trip. Our trip came about because we were invited to a wedding in NJ on that Saturday night. We figured that since we were halfway to Brother Bill & Company's house, we would go spend some time down there with them.

Well this installment is about the day of the wedding and the rest of our trip to Pennsylvania.
Saturday morning after a fantastic Customer Service experience came to a close (subject for the next blog ), we loaded the kids in the family truckster and cruised down to Piermont, NY to the apartment of friends of ours. They agreed (crazily!) to watch all four kids (Ian, Leah and their 2 cousins, Paige & Shane) while we went to a wedding with my Brother and Sister-In-Law.
These friends have a great apartment right on the Hudson, by the way. Cool place with an amazing view of the river. So we met there and got settled in, which means that Mr. Pack Mule here lugged all our crap up to the 3rd floor walk-up.

There wasn't a whole lot of time to get ready for the ceremony, so just my brother and I went while the wives stayed at the apartment with the rugrats and friends. After the ceremony we went back to get our own lovely brides and headed to the reception.

Right before we left OTHER friends showed up with THIER 2 kids (plus one on the way). It's a small place, so I'm sure we set a record for the number of kneebiters ever in that apartment at any given time, but apparently while we were gone, a fun time was had by all. Well, mostly.
I forgot to add that Ian didn't sleep at all on the ride down that day. So lets see, that translates into the fact that he was going into this over-stimulating environment (new place, new toys, new people) without being well rested. Remember that normally he's not well-rested to begin with, as he's generally a crappy sleeper. Oh yeah, THIS will end well!

You may not know this, but each of our kids are close in age with the others, i.e. Ian is 4 months older than Paige (they both turn 3 this year), and Shane is about 3.5 months older than Leah.(Shane is 6 months old, Leah is 2+ months). So 2 age groups are represented by the kids: Sassy Toddler & Needy Baby.

Needless to say, when we got back from the reception toys were all over the place, and all the kids were sleeping. Out of all the kids only the elder Needy Baby (Shane) was in the right sleeping location. Needy Baby #2 was asleep in Lisa's arms, Sassy Dora was asleep in Brian & Lisa's bed while Sassy Wiggle was sprawled out on blankets, conked out, on the living room floor.

Apparently there were issues getting Sassy 1 and Sassy 2 to sleep so (wisely) they chose the path of least resistance. I'm not sure how Paige finally went to sleep, but they just turned on "Finding Nemo" (one of Ian's favorites) and let him watch it until his brain finally finally shut down on him.

I tell ya, huge props to Brian & Lisa (and Brian's mom!!) for taking on such a monumental task! We thank you tremendously and greatly, greatly appreciate it!! Have you ever known an evening to drag on for so long???

Ian had such a fun time with them…especially since Brian let Ian play his guitars and sing into his REAL microphone…not the cheap crap that we got him! Not only that, but Brian taught him a few things too. First was rather than picking his nose, to squeeze it to 'evict' the boogers and set them free.

Another thing was something that we didn't know until the day after we got home from the trip...all of a sudden Ian holds onto the coffee table and starts hopping on one leg. We were both taken aback, because we've never seen him do that before. We asked where he learned that and after thinking for a moment he proudly exclaims "Brian!".

Here it is a week after we got home and Ian STILL talks about how much fun he had with Brian and Lisa, no joke. Just yesterday he said that he wanted to go back there!
Sunday we left Brian & Lisa's and headed down to Brother Bill's in PA. We ended up just relaxing and letting the kids run about the house when we got there..

Monday morning Erin took us to one of her favorite Story-Hour Libraries where we made it just in time for the last 10 minutes of it…For some reason Ian wasn't into the group thing (which was odd, because it was music time...his favorite), so he and I went and poked around the kids area until everyone else filtered out. We actually ended up playing there for quite awhile.

Paige and Ian started off playing separately for awhile, but then got together for a fun activity. They decided to run top-speed (you know, 1.3mph) to one wall, make a 90degree turn and then to another wall. It was one of those things that you think would get boring after two or three times. Unbelievably, this kept them busy for a good 10-15 minutes. It was apparent that they were having the time of their lives, because before long another girl joined in on the reindeer games.

We knew the kids were tiring when they stopped running and were walking their little course…and not even the speed-walking/arms pumping maneuver. It was more along the lines of leisure-strolling/dead arms dangling. So we took their cues and headed home for lunch and nap.
Paige is so cute, she downright BEGS to get into her jammies and ASKS to go to sleep. Ian, of course is polar opposite. Allison tried for at least 45min to put him down and then I tried for maybe 10min before I realized it was absolutely futile. So here it was, a 2nd day out of 3 that Ian refused to nap. Hold on, side prayer here: Hey Big J.C. I don't ask you for much….but please, please, PLEASE. I am not ready for Ian to enter into the no-nap phase of his life…If we did this now, one of us isn't going to make it out of it alive. And I'm bigger than Ian, so I'm pretty sure I know which way the oddsmakers are leaning. Or if we DO do it, let's bite the bullet and do it right now and get it over with quickly before Allison goes back to work. Okay, thanks Savior…and say hi to your dad and Jerry Garcia for me…thanks.

So we decided to park Ian in front of the TV and let him watch shows for awhile to give everyone a break. After Paige woke up from her 2.5hr nap (sigh) we decided to go and try to get the kids' picture taken. And THATS where the Pennsyltucky blog takes over.

Before I wrap it up, I need to comment on Paige being "sassy". She has always been the perfect kid. She was always a great sleeper, mild-mannered, self soothing and content on anything you throw her way...so it's actually a relief to see her throw Bill & Erin this cute little curveball.
In true Paige form, she's not even really "sassy". Like all toddler's she says NO alot, but she does one of the funniest things I've ever seen. If she's in a mood and you crack even the slightest smile she'll wag her finger at you and yell "NO LAUGH!". I only heard "Daddy NO LAUGH!" or "Mommy NO LAUGH!" but it still was one of the cutest things...of course you can't help but laughing harder and she gets even more upset. She really is one of the cutest kids ever!!!

(from 3/1/07) Pennsyltucky: Where Trash is Artistic

This is one of my favorite blogs. A) Because this shit actually happened and B) I spent a LOT of time writing this! Enjoy (again).......

So we just got back from a trip to PA to visit brother Bill, Erin, Paige & Shane. While we were down there, we decided to get a portrait taken of all 4 kids. For those that don't know, Ian and Paige will both turn 3 this year (Ian is 4 months older) and Shane is about 3.5 months older than Leah.

Erin 'warned' us about the woman who worked at this particular department store portrait studio…it wouldn't be fair to identify the place, so we'll call the place A.Z. Benny. And I don't know this woman's name, but we'll call her Jane.

Anyway, Erin said that her red flag identifying factors in figuring out trash (of the white variety) went up when talking to Jane, as she tended to use double negatives and shall we say, less than proper grammar, a lot.

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about "Hi Erin! Ain't little Paigey looking cute today!" And "Ain't nobody brought in a DVD Player here before, that's a good idea…" (wow, my spell-checker is having a field day with this portion of the blog…)

Erin also said that this woman told her that she is an "artist" and that this isn't no (there we go again!) 'point and click place'. Okay, I'm going to change her name. She's no longer Jane, she's now Billie-Jo Sue.

I'll point out 3 things here:
A) I agree with Erin's red-flag standards…you talk like that, you are trash. I'm sorry if some of yous unedumacated folk don't not disagree wit me.
B) This woman is not indicative of where they live. It's a great, rural area with a good school system.
C) If Erin is ever telling you a story or describing someone, dude, she's not exaggerating!

Let me preface the following by saying that I was feeling not-so-fresh at this point during the trip. I began feeling a little ill a few days previous, but it had subsided and was now coming back with a vengeance and I was somewhat miserable. I'm pretty sure I was lucid enough to remember how things went down, but it was pretty bizarre, so it maybe wasn't real! I may be wrong in describing the order of when things unfolded (You'll have to ask Erin or Allison) but it's pretty accurate…anyway so we get to A.Z. Benny and Billie-Jo Sue is all over the place.

There was another woman who brought her two young sons in to be photographed, so we set up the movie, gave the kids some snacks, and I left to try to find a place that sold Pepto.
Just as I got back, Billie-Jo Sue (who, from here on out, will be calld BJS) was finishing up with the other people and our kids were beginning to get restless. BJS was showing the mom the pictures she took on a computer screen and with each shot said something like "oh, that's the one!", "I love their expressions there" or "that's a keeper, don't you think?" Okay, so she uses no-nonsense, unveiled, hard sell tactics…I get it. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt (as tacky as it was).

So BJS finally gets to our kids and starts setting up the studio for pictures of just Shane, which Erin requested. BJS was offering all these springy pastel backdrops and ornate costumes for Shane, but Erin wanted something simple: Black background & Shane on his tummy (he pushes himself up).

The other woman was trying to pick her pictures, so to help keep her kids occupied we offered to leave the movie going (so they could watch and she could choose in peace) and her kids took to that like flies on….honey. She really appreciated it too, because her kids were starting to act like ours…restless.

So BJS, the "arteest", starts taking pictures and trying all sorts of different things and camera angles etc. the older kids started really getting restless and wanted to 'help' try to get Shane's attention and make him smile, so they started in on calling his name. Well you would think that Ian dropped his Buzz diaper and squeezed out a poop on her credentials. BJS let us know that there was too much stimulation in this room and that all the noise was confusing Shane.
So we gave the kids some of the prop seats that they use so they could sit, have a snack and watch BJS work her magic. Well I'll be damned if it was distracting to BJS. She snapped that the kids were too close and that "I'm going to step on one of them, and I will because my focus is on Shane and ONLY on Shane".

For all those who have never been to a place like this, it's not like the photographer can walk 360 degrees around the person/people being photographed. The camera is affixed to a mount. The camera goes up and down and side to side, maybe 18". So, BJS, stop your goddamn tapdancing and push that little fuckin button to snap the picture.

After Shane had enough, we decided to set up the studio for the group shot. At this point the other lady was ready to pay, so BJS went out to take her payment and gush over her own work that she had created.

I was holding Leah, so I kept walking around to keep her happy and I was out in the waiting area (where the other kids were watching the DVD and the mom was paying BJS for her God-given talent). I don't know how it came up, but I swear, BJS said (and I quote!) "Sometimes I just get an idea in my head and think, Wow! That would make a great picture!" I really don't know how I stopped myself from pissing in my pants…that was too damn funny.

So BJS graces us with her presence in the studio again and begin discussing how we're going to get all four kids in the picture. She tells us that it can't be done, and that she could do the 3 older kids this way…whoa, wait a minute. Erin stops her in her tracks and says that we want all 4 kids, and that's the reason why we're here.

BJS thinks for a moment, apparently going through her databank of photography knowledge and comes up with 'the choo-choo train' pose (her phrase, not mine) and explains how it's a classic and blah-blah-blah. She wanted Ian to sit in the back, with Paige between his legs, then Shane between Paige's, and then Leah in front of Shane.

Dude. Shane can't sit up yet, but I get that Paige can maybe help him. What the fuck is going to prop Leah up? Shane? Once we point this out to genius, she just says that it's a classic position, and that it works great with older kids. Gee, let me think. Oh yeah, WE DON'T HAVE OLDER KIDS, YOU FUCKING TWIT! She says flat out that she can't take a good picture with the 4 younger kids.

So Erin suggests putting Leah in a bassinet and having the other kids surround it. BJS's reaction? "Oh yeah, that'll work. Wait, I'm getting it in my head now…" and then she starts setting it up. That friggin' hick thought it was her subconscience giving her the suggestion.
By this point it was about 5:45 and everyone was getting tired of being there. The kids were restless, I wasn't feeling well and the comic relief of this woman was beginning to wear thin.
So she took a few snapshots and of course she was barking orders to the kids and saying things like "Shane isn't smiling!" or "The baby is looking the other way". Never mind the fact that Paige and Ian (you know, the 2 kids whose facial expressions that we could somewhat direct) were both looking into the camera and making some somewhat of a smile.

So she took a few more and it was clear that Paige and Ian didn't want to be there anymore so they started fidgeting about and trying to get off. Well, BJS demanded "stop moving! Put your chin down! I can't see your face!" Before I knew what happened, "They're fucking two!" came out of my mouth.

So I stepped out of the room for a minute to calm down, came back and things weren't much better. After a few more clicks there was a pause. I don't know if she was finished or not, but I said "We're done", and about 3 seconds later BJS added "Okay, I think we're all done here"…yeah, good idea, snaggletooth.

I took Leah and walked around the waiting area. The girls picked out the shot that we were going to keep and Shane's picture. Of course little Miss Japanese Tourist had to give her input as to which were the good ones, and then went into why. I think Ian is the only other person I've ever heard who LOVES to hear themselves talk that much. But unlike her, Ian recognizes it and says "Maybe Ian's being chatty!"

And aint this a bitch…I don't know who, what, where, when or why, but after all that, curse slippage and all, BJS ended up giving us all the pictures of the kids (we ordered 22 copies of one pose) for FREE.

So of course now I have to give a plug: If you're ever in Pennsyltucky, go see JBS at A.Z. Benny.

By the way, I can't take credit for the term Pennsyltucky. I heard it a few years ago and laughed my ass off when I did. It really bugs Erin, but it oh-so-fits in this case...I did however apologize to her as we left their house. As this is probably the only time in my life that I'll get to use that term in a fashion that fits.

(from 2/15/07) Storm Trooper or Bowling Pin?

If you were walking down a dark alley late one night, who would you rather encounter: A storm trooper or a a 10' tall inflatable bowling pin shuffling around with a big, creepy shit-eating grin on it's face?

Ok, well if not late at night in a dark alley, how about around 11am during an indoor kids carnival?

That's the dilemma Ian faced, and he instantly chose the......storm trooper? There were characters roaming around this festival for kids and he was amazed at the storm trooper as well as a sand warrior guy (according to wikipedia a Tusken Raider) and another character. He kept calling them "divers" and was insistant on keep going up to them and shaking their hands and giving them hi-fives.

The big bowling pin, on the the other hand, made him shit his buzz lightyear pull-up.
He was on a ride and was having a blast....it ended, so he was sitting there waiting for the carni-folk to let him out and his demeanor totally changed...all of a sudden he gets a blank look on his face and he looks terrified. At first we had no idea what he was looking at. The 300lb bearded lady took him off the ride and he power-walked over to us (not taking his eyes off the source of terror) and asked to be picked up.

The first thing he said is "I don't like the bowling pin". I turn around and see the sight that I described up top there. And in case you have amnesia, it was a 10' tall inflatable bowling pin shuffling towards us with a creepy shit-eating grin plastered on the front. It was in a convention center, so the sound of the feet shuffling echoed throughout the place. Not to mention that the arms of the costume were significantly longer than the arms of the guy who was inside the costume so they just kind of flopped and shimmied about.

At one point Ian was waiting to go on the pony ride and he spots this usually-harmless-but-now-nightmare-inducing object halfway across the place making a slow, exagerated, jiggly beeline right for us. Ian virtually lept into Allison's arms and she re-assured him that he wasn't coming over here. Hehheh WRONG. Poor Ian couldn't take his eyes off this thing the entire time he was riding the pony. I wonder if Ian was the first kid to drop a deuce on that pony's back that day?

I am totally kicking myself for not getting a picture of this thing. I thought about it, and even had my nifty little cell phone aimed at it ready to snap, but it turned around and the front of it was half the fun...I wanted the picture soley for this blog to show you guys what kind of things people dream up thinking they're "fun" for kids. I already tried looking for a picture on the net, but couldn't find one quickly. I'll spend more time looking for it later and will post a picture if I find one.

-----------------------------------------

Other than that, I don't think there's a whole lot to report. We were inside all day yesterday so everyone is stir crazy. We're going to try a new indoor play area in North Haven today. It's not close, but it's something different. We'll let ya know how it goes.
Until then, just say no to creepy inflatable objects (sheep not included).

(from 1/26/07) Life Update - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Ok, we'll try this again. I tried blogging earlier in the week and it got accidentally deleted.
What could be good, bad & ugly as far as my beautiful children are concerned? Well, Ian's behavior towards other kids covers the "ugly" part. He has been downright terrible towards his friends lately, usually the smaller and younger ones...Heh, like his daddy he's afraid of getting beat up so he picks on easier targets.

My brother's family and another set of friends with a son (Derek) near Ian's age came to visit a few weeks ago. A great time was had by the adults, but poor Derek pleaded with his mom to go home the same day they got here. Ian would just take a toy out of his hand, run somewhere and "hide" it. Granted, hiding to him is just putting it somewhere else, still in plain view...but its the thought.

When Ian's cousin, Paige, came he did the same thing to her...He also had 2 MORE sets of kid-friends to visit that weekend and do you think he treated them any different? Nope.
I wish I could say it was because having the baby around was still all so new to him, but we had issues just today at playgroup. He was walking by a girl who was sitting in a chair playing with a jack in the box and he just grabbed it and kept walking. Poor little girl started crying hysterically. There really isn't much we can do except stay consistant with our discipline and not let him get away with any behavior like that.

Although I would really like to get inside his little toddler-head and see what he is thinking. For those reasons, but plus he comes up with the most random thoughts.
He was standing at the table in our playroom coloring when he looked up and said to me "Maybe Poppa and Nana have a big TV?" By the way, his new thing is to phrase his comments or observations as questions, beginning with 'Maybe'.
After that, without blinking an eye, he continues with "Maybe Ian no have a big tv". He even said it disappointingly, that ungrateful kid! But it is a good observation, as we have a 32" tv while poppa has a giant friggin 70" monstrosity.

--------------------

Hi. My name is Don, and I'm a Geotrax-aholic.
My brother & his family gave Ian a starter's set of Geotrax for Christmas. We exchanged gifts when they came up 2 weeks ago and waited until everyone left to open the boxes. You see, we had to wait to set up the trains so as we could have clear escape routes for the kids running in fear from Ian.
For those that don't know what Geotrax is, it is remote controlled, battery operated trains that go along platic train tracks that you can set up any way you like (as long as you have the right pieces). Here is a link to the official page with some example layouts, so you can see how in-depth and crazy it gets:

Official Source of My Addiction

So as I said, they bought us a starter set (the Workin Town Railway for you fellow junkies) and a gas station "depot" and set it up. Let me tell you, I thought it was the coolest thing. Ian liked it too! And I need to preface all this saying i was never into model railroads as a kid. The appeal with this thing is that you can customize your tracks & layout to however you want it.
The next day I went to return a duplicate gift we had recieved from someone else and what did I do? Why I bought a bunch more sets of Geotrax! I got some ramps and additional "depots" and another train.

So last week I was changing the layout after Ian went to bed (Dude, shut up. My reasoning is that Ian will appreciate the different setup when he wakes up). Anyway, I had an idea for the layout, so I started setting it up and realized I didn't have enough of the right pieces. CRAP!
So I re-configured it a little bit, nope, wouldn't work. I tried another way (and Allison even got into it a wee little bit and made some suggestions), and it STILL wouldn't work. I finally figured out a way to make it work, but decided that I, I mean Ian, needed more pieces to work with.
God bless EBay! As of yesterday, we now have some more track as well as a few more sets of ramps, so I should be able to build this puppy up even more!

Ian keeps telling me that I should spend all of Mommy's hard earned money on Geotrax, but I keep insisting that it isn't right and that we need to scale back some. Well, at least until she goes back to work and/or our tax refund gets here.

------------------------------------------

In other news, we decided on our next house-item upgrade. We decided to replace our crappy wood-stove insert in the basement. We've used the thing no more than 3x and each time we nearly got smoked out of the house. It would be a great way to conserve oil and keep the cost of heating the house down. Besides, it'll add some cool ambiance to the room as we would be able to watch the fire burn as opposed to watching a hot steel box.
Below is a link to the model that we will most likely get. We already went to the store to check things out, but the guy is coming out tomorrow so he can see the setup for himself.

Wood Stove Insert

We'll keep you updated as to this newest venture, but I'm betting we'll have the new insert in time for Memorial Day! Yeah, its a little late in the season for it to be truely cost effective this year, but the place is running a good sale on them and it's something we've wanted to do for awhile.

---------------------------------

We're happy to report that we found the right preschool for Ian, and that he has a spot and we're very excited about him going on this new adventure!
It's through the Childhood Development class at the new high school. The teacher has 20 students and takes 10 preschoolers. Each preschooler is assigned to 2 "buddies" for the semester. On one day, one of the buddies interacts with the preschooler while the other one observes and takes notes from a room behind a one-way mirror. The next day the two students switch.

We love it because Ian will get one-on-one attention with the same people. Like most kids his age, he likes routine and knowing whats going to happen. Believe it or not, he really likes schedules, which this program provides. The days that the preschoolers aren't there, the students develop lessons and themes and learn about whats going on with these kids developmentally.

Another reason I like it is because he'll be working with high school kids who elected this class, which means they want to be there. That translates to excitement for everyone...the high school students as well as the preschoolers. There will be a diffferent enthusiasm about holidays and just everyday stuff from these students who are learning about this right now as opposed to someone who has been doing it for 20+ years.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Preschool teachers love their jobs and are happy to go to work, but I'm betting its just different. At the end of the day, it's only Preschool and its not like we're choosing a college for him, but we just really like this program.

Another perk is that it starts at 8am which means Allison can drop him off in the morning on her way to work, or even better, she can go to work late if there's something special going on with school, like a little play that the kids put on or something like that.

Oh yeah, and it's the least expensive preschool option that we've come across...but then again, we're already paying for it since its at the brand new $54 million high school (and no, thats not an exageration!).

-------------------------------

Other than that, there's not much new to report. The little Wookie is doing well (yeah, she STILL has more hair than me!). Although we found out that she has blocked tear ducts in BOTH her eyes.

Nothing major needs to be done at this point. We give her antibiotics 2x a day, but that is ending soon. We also have to give her eyedrops and massage the little tear sacs near the bridge of her nose several times a day. What fun it is to nearly poke her in the eye, but hopefully it'll resolve the issue so she doesn't need surgery like Ian did.

------------------------------

Anyway, thats about it. Until next time, for God sakes, keep your fingers out of your nose!
(and if you have any Geotrax lying around and you're not using them, feel free to send them my way).