Not this guy.
Below you will find only our outakes. That means you won't find a great shot of both kids, or Leah smiling or Ian showing his cutest side. You'll only find the pictures that shouldn't be put up for others to see.
BUT. Before I do that, I do have to share a heart wreching discussion I had with Ian last week. This was an impromptu talk i had that ended up (in my opinion) requiring the suspension of my dad card. Thankfully a neighbor pulled me back into the game and allowed me to redeem my status of allowing to raise my children 'without the supervision of others'.
Okay, so last week we had beautiful weather, so we decided to take a walk to the water tower in our neighborhood. No friends were around, so it was just Ian, Leah and I. We walked down there and did our obligatory ritual of 'throwing of the rocks into the drain' routine as well as the 'walk around the tower and see if there are any snakes' ritual. After that was over, we decided to walk back home as the sun was going down and the wind was beginning to pick up.
We passed a neighbor's house, and for the record these neighbors used to have 2 rottwillers, Wanda & Marvin. Wanda was the mom, and Marvin the son. Wanda was an awesome dog who would give anyone kisses and Marvin, well, wouldn't. Let's just say there are probably only 4 dogs who have ever walked on the face of this earth who I have not liked, and Marvin is one of them. He is just not a friendly dog, and I would not miss him if the UPS guy decided to run over the devilish canine. Oh, remember way back when, when I first started running and blogging that I heard 2 monstrous horses running behind me?? Yeah, it was these two.
Anyway, Last fall I noticed that Wanda wasn't looking too good. She was limping badly and wouldn't even get up to greet anyone as they walked up her driveway, as she previously had. The biggest clue was when the neighbors posed her in their yard with the brilliant autumn leaves around her, snapping pictures. Nothing smells more like death than that.
Anyhoo, last week we were walking by their property back to our house when Ian noticed only one of the dogs (Marvin, the asshole) was out in the yard. He asked about the other.....and this is where I deserve to lose my dadcard.
Silly me, should have just said, she was inside the house. Did I say that? Oh no. That would be too peachy keen and easy as pie. I decided, impromptu-ly and without second thought to engage my son in a 'life discussion' that was a long time coming. Honestly, I didn't think it would come until one of my In-Laws decided it was time for a dirt nap. But apparently the neighbor's elderly dog decided it would come sooner. So here I was, facing a life-altering discussion on life and death...and man, did I fuck it up.
I said above, he asked about the missing dog. Smart Don would have said that the other dog was inside their house sleeping...but Idiot Don decided to have this life discussion on a random Tuesday afternoon that involved a neighborhood dog that Ian hadn't seen since November as opposed to a beloved relative lying in repose in the serenity of a hospice or funeral home.
This is how the discussion went:
"Dad, where's the other dog?"
"Well, Ian, Wanda was really sick."
"Who is Wanda?"
"Wanda was the other dog, and she was really sick, and really old, and hurt a lot so Wanda's body couldn't keep up anymore, so Wanda Died."
"What's 'died', dad?"
"That means that Wanda's body stopped working, Ian, so she stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating."
"So where is she, Dad, and when will she get better?"
Okay, this is the point where my 'dad' card deserves to be ripped from my possession. Remember, I was in the heat of the moment and was SO not planning on having this discussion anytime whatsoever in the near future.
"well, Ian. Her body stopped working, so she stopped breathing and living, so she was buried in the ground".
Okay, hold it.
You can only imagine the questions that my explanation lead to, and the panicked look on Ian's face. We actually had to stop our walk and I had to sit down and comfort Ian because he was crying so hard, knowing that Wanda wasn't coming back. He just kept repeating that Wanda was his 'favorite' dog and that he loved her 'very, very much'. Mind you, Ian hadn't seen this dog in several months and didn't even know her flippin name.
So I tried to further the discussion, but it just wasn't going well at all. We got back to our house and a neighbor walked by with her kids, both whom are which about the same age as ours.
As the kids were playing, I told their mom about what had just happened. She tells me about when she had to deal with the subject, about an uncle of their kids...and how the uncle was in Heaven.
HEAVEN? Aw, dude. Why didn't I think of that? I try to explain death to my kid, and I go for the scientific/natural angle as opposed to the spiritual/feel good angle.
"Wanda is rotting and decomposing in the backyard of our neighbors, Ian, not playing in poppyseed fields and drinking unlimited supply of mineral spring water." Way to think on your toes, Don.
Anyway, I tried re-explaining the whole thing to Ian, how people (and pets) actually go to heaven, and aren't sick or hurting anymore. He believed it, and actually took comfort in it. It pulled on my heart-strings to hear Ian talk about how he's 'happy' to hear that Wanda isn't hurting anymore and that that she's happy and that we all can be happy and a family when we all get to heaven someday.
Okay, since he bought into it and I saved myself, I feel that I can keep my Dad card afterall. And to celebrate that, I give to you those outtake photos of today, Easter 2008.
No cute shots, no great pictures of the kids in their 'holiday best'. Just the pictures that should have been deleted in the first place. Happy Easter!
Okay, I need to explain this next one. All the kids go up to the front of church and today they were asked if they knew how to read...some kids raised their hands, and not wanting to be left out, so did Ian. Obviously, he doesn't, but he INSISTED he knew how to read. Pastor Ricki skipped over him and he really didn't like it. So he started crying and just put his head in his hands. Allison went up to get him and calm him down. I just reached for the camera.
Okay, so there are the goofy pictures. I swore to myself that I wouldn't include any 'good' ones, but how can I leave them out. Here are just a few.
Ian and I blowing up a baloon
Ian getting ready for the Easter Bag Hunt
Leah, Post-Candy
Posts
