Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Perspective

This morning, for some reason or another, Ian woke up in a rotten mood. He was angry at the world, demanded things left and right and was just downright foul. Someone had definitely pissed in his cheerios. I wrote a comment about it on my Facebook page, something about him sneaking out in the middle of the night and going shopping at the Jerk Store.

Thankfully his mood changed and we were able to have a decent morning together while Leah was in school. In that time we went to the grocery store, and while there I saw that a whole entourage of corporate honchos decended upon the store. They walked in and were milling around the front door just waiting for an underling to acknowledge their presence and come greet them. And I'll tell you, the 'underling' that greeted them looked nervous as all hell.

These guys had an air about them that just amazed me. They walked over to the fresh green beans and patted them down, shuffled them and stuck their arm deep into the container. They marveled over the cardboard display of the oranges and how it was a great thing and how it was really sturdy and evolutionary. (dude, it's fucking cardboard!)

Blackberries firmly attached to their hips, these guys were cornering the local workers 3 to 1 and grilling them about......I don't know, grocery store things. I DO know that these employees did NOT look happy that the suits were there.

Apparently the boardroom team broke up into divisions because they dispearsed throughout the store tackling different objectives. As I stated on my Facebook page, I overheard one greasy looking guy on his blackberry in the coffee aisle threatening someone's job. What is so important about Folgers coffee that is worth axing someone?? The hell if I know. Another guy was marching up and down the dairy aisle checking out all the yoplaits, gogurts, chobani and whatever else there was to leer at.

When I was done with my shopping and was out in the parking lot, I asked the 'cart guy' about this whole thing. He didn't know what was up and said that he's never seen that many corporate people there at once.

The purpose of this isn't to pit workers vs. management or paint the local grocery store as the victim. Honestly, I've grown to emphatically not like this particular store, but went there today because their 'kids club' (where you can drop off your kids while you shop) was open whereas the one at the other store I usually go to was closed. As far as I know this store is a health hazard waiting to be exploited, and the management team was there to save the public's health.

What I DO know is that I'm SO thankful I'm not in that world. You know what i did after I left the grocery store? Ian and I killed some time by singing songs in the car and playing games. We picked Leah up from school and came home for lunch before playing football out in the yard while waiting for the bus to bring Ian to school. Granted, it was a very abbreviated version of football since I feel like shit right now, but you get the picture!

After the bus took Ian away to school I brought Leah inside, read a book to her, and tucked her in for a nap. I then made my way downstairs and crashed on the couch for a much needed 2 hour nap myself.

As much as I'll complain or joke about Ian's terrible behavior (okay, to be fair I'll say the 'kids' behavior....but c'mon, how often do I complain about Leah??) I always try to keep in mind what I left behind and how happy I am NOT a part of that anymore.

Nope, my world doesn't suck at all, and for that I am Thankful!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Stupid Habit

I have lots of stupid habits, most of which are non-sensical.

For example, whenever I go food shopping I put the eggs in the front seat. This separates them from the rest of the groceries and keeps anything from falling on them and squishing them on the ride home. In my crazy mind, this is logical.

The flaw of this practice came to light today when a stupid-assed fisher cat ran in front of my car. Trying to avoid creaming the dipshit, I jammed on my brakes. This in turn sent 2 dozen eggs flying into the floorboard of the passenger side of the vehicle.

Fortunately (or not) I went shopping at BJs today, so all the eggs are wrapped together in celophane. I'm guessing that is why I didn't find liquified chicks splattered all over the place. I didn't detect any breakage while carrying them into the house, but I guess I'll find out when I open the package.

I can tell you one thing for certain: The next four legged fuckface to jump in front of my car won't hear tires squealing in an attempt to stop.