Hapy 1st Birthday Babycakes!

My Eloquence comes through for me, yet again.

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I really haven't had much to say. But lucky for you, something happened to me today that is blog-worthy...or at least I think you will get a kick out of it.

So I pick the Rock-Star up from preschool and we hit dunkin' donuts before heading over to the RV store to pick up a cover for our camper. Now, there are several DnD's that I frequent. This one is part of a gas station that is near an entrance to the highway, so it's my go-to one when travelling.

I get to the window and begin to order. I kid you not how this went. This is our conversation, verbatim:

ME: "Extra Large Green Tea with skim milk only, please". I say 'only' so they don't even have to ask if I want sugar. No, I don't.

GIRL: What do you want in your tea????

ME: Skim milk only, please.

GIRL: You want milk in your tea????

ME: Yes please.

GIRL: Why do you want milk in your tea? Does that even taste good?

This is where my eloquence comes into action. I wanted to show her in some way that I was displeased with her line of questioning, yet not be rude because there are ALL sorts of things she could do to my drink.

ME: Dude!

Way to go, Captain Thesaurus.

GIRL: Okay, DUUUUUUDE (obviously making fun of me). Milk in your Tea. Do you want anything else?

I then proceeded with the rest of my order. I also got a drink for Ian and a piece of fresh fruit for him...because that's what they have at YOUR dunkin' donuts, right? I mean, I wouldn't get him any of the conventional crap that they serve.

When I got up to the window I was annoyed. There were a few girls wearing the headsets, so I couldn't easily pick out who led the Inquisition. I would understand if I ordered a coffee with monkey piss or if I asked her to drop a deuce in my hot chocolate, but c'mon. I kept looking at those with headsets but no one acknowledged our little exchange of Shakespearian dialogue.

Tea with milk, it's not that friggin' odd. Speaking of odd and for those who are wondering, yes I do have the same quirk with tea as I do with coffee. For those that DON'T know, here is my quirk:

If I am at home, in a restaurant, or somewhere else where you can just sit and chill and have a cup of coffee in a ceramic mug I drink it black. If I go to Interrogation Donuts, or 7-11 or somewhere else that serves coffee in the paper or styrofoam cups I drink it with milk. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it may be to cool it down a bit. I don't remember starting this or following any line of reasoning. But its the way I do it, and as we all know, change is bad.

Okay, thats really it for today. So if we meet up anytime soon, please excuse my floppy tongue, primitive grunts and chest thumping as I'm sure I'll be unable to adequately hold a basic conversation using more than two syllable words.

26.2: Check!

Been there, done that. Just kidding! Here is the story behind my experience at the Philadelphia Marathon:

Saturday night I checked the weather several times, and it was calling for rain throughout the whole day. That started to seriously bum me out, because I was hoping for perfect race day conditions as I didn't want to be waterlogged even before starting, thus starting cold and wet...didn't sound fun to me!

But then I remembered a conversation I had with a running buddy the week before and he said to just remember: no matter what you're going through, every other runner is dealing with too. That kind of put my mind at ease a bit and thus took a c'est la vis approach to it: can't do anything about it, so fuck it!

We were staying at my brothers house from the Friday before the race til the day after Thanksgiving. As you may know, our kids tend to be horrible sleepers, so on the eve of the race I opted to sleep on the living room couch. It was comfy, dark and quiet. That means Muy Bueno! It took about 15min to fall asleep, but once I did, I slept soundly until my cell phone alarm went off at 4:10am.

Race time was 7am, but I wanted to get there a lot earlier to scope out the weather conditions and make a game time decision as far as what to wear. I got up plenty early to get a decent meal in me and allow my body plenty of time and opportunity to, shall we say evacuate, in a nice, warm home-like environment.

My sister-in-law drove me into the city, and we left around 5:30 to give us time to get a parking spot and get to the race area.

We got to the starting area around 6:30, but wouldn't you know it I had to um, evacuate, a second time...nerves I guess. So I hopped in line and waited 15 minutes or so.

After the bathroom Erin and I were looking to see what all of the other runners were wearing and it was kind of split down the middle. A lot were wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirt or long sleeved shirt. Others had pants and long sleeved shirt.

I had already dressed in shorts, long pants, long shirt and short sleeved shirt over it. Erin had written my name on the front of my short sleeved shirt (AWESOME idea by the way!!!), so I knew I was going to wear that on top. But my dilemma was whether or not I should go with the pants.

I was pretty chilly even while wearing them, and since there were plenty of other people wearing pants I decided to stick with them...also because my bib (For you non-running folks, the 'bib' is that paper with your race number or ID on it) was already pinned to them, so it would have been a pain to change it.

So I also had a hat and gloves with me, that I decided to bring...Again, I already had them on and was chilly, so it wouldn't hurt to start with them..I could always ditch them later if it warmed up and I didn't want to carry them.

So Erin bode we farewell and good luck and I lined up with the 5hr pace group. I introduced myself to the pacer and then began chatting with a few women and we all decided that we would stick together. No one knew each other previously so it was good: No hard feelings whatsoever if someone wanted to push ahead or fall behind.

The race started and away we went! Mile 1 went down the Ben Franklin Parkway and then snaked through some streets. There was a lot of dodging sweatshirts, hats gloves and whatnot that were just thrown straight to the ground. A lot of people threw them off to side, but I was surprised how many just dropped them where they were, right in the way of thousands of people behind them.

Mile 1: 10:26. That kind of surprised me, as it was a good 40 seconds ahead of what the pacegroup wristband said we would do the first mile in. But I shrugged it off as maybe the pacer was just banking some time for later in the race.

Mile 2 was more of the same as far as dodging clothes. I kept my hat & gloves on and just kept grooving along. Mile 2 time: 10:44.

Mile 3 found a water stop and shortly thereafter I noticed that i had to pee again. I was VERY surprised as I had already gone several times already. I guess all the water from the previous day was catching up to me....so i veered off to this little area where other people were going and then caught up to my little group. Mile 3: 10:56

Miles 4 & 5 were pretty non-descript. Our little group found ourselves slightly ahead of the 5hr group, but I wasn't too concerned as we were going at an easy pace. I did have a split-second reconsideration, as I knew the pacer would keep his pace, and I should go by that rather than running with three girls, but we were less than a quarter mile in front, so I shrugged it off. Miles 4 & 5: 10:50, 10:54.

Mile 5 included a decent-sized hill and one of the girls in our group started saying that she just wasn't getting into her groove. She said that maybe she tapered TOO much because she wasn't comfortable at all.

I was feeling great, and at the 6mi water station I took a gel because that's what I've been doing on my training runs (taking gels every 6 miles). Mile 6: 10:36.

It was right around this point that the pacer called out my name and waved...letting me (and everyone else in hearing distance) know that I was ahead of the pace group. Looking back, I know he was just looking out for me, since I signed up for his group and he didn't want me to gas early, but at the time I kind of got offended at that. Way to publicly call me out, pal. I just waved back and stayed right where I was. Fuckin' Dicknose.

Mile 7 10:21

Mile 8 included another hill, and a water stop which we walked through so our partner who wasn't having a great day could catch her breath, stretch and get another gel. Mile 8: 11:31

Miles 9-11 were more of the same: slow easy pace, good conversations and still staying within 100yds in front of the 5hr pace group.

Mile 9: 10:47
Mile 10: 11:07
Mile 11: 10:30

Throughout the entire race I was taking my hat and gloves off and putting them back on. We'd be in this one area where the wind was dead, so I'd take them off, but then we'd turn a corner or switch directions and it would pick up and I'd be really chilly. So I'm glad that I never threw them to the ground, I just tucked them into my waistband.

Okay, mile 12 is when the race started to get 'not fun' for me. We were trotting along and all of a sudden I noticed a pain forming on the outside of my right knee. I have occasionally felt 'pressure' there AFTER long runs, but never PAIN during a run.

I tried to shake it off, mentally telling myself that it was just my brain telling me that it wasn't having fun (even though I was VERY comfortable otherwise). No dice. It got bad enough where I was doing a Terry Fox kind of stride. I just started thinking to myself "Good God, no. I'm not stopping. I've been training long and hard for this and to bonk out at 12 measly miles? Fuck you".

Immediately one of the other 3 girls noticed. I was about 3 steps behind them and she kept asking how I was doing. I told her I was doing fine, just hanging back a bit. Almost immediately the girl who never quite got into the race to begin with said she was slowing way down. Apparently she was hitting a wall. So she hung WAY back, while I just slowed down a little to see if I could run through it while staying with the other two girls in the running group.

Mile 12: 10:56
Mile 13: 10:47

We crossed the Half Marathon finish line and people were cheering like CRAZY. I got lots of personal encouragement (remember, I had my name on the front). That got my adrenaline going and I was able to run strongly through the downtown area in no pain at all.

Mile 14: 10:26


In the 15th mile, the brother of one of the girls I was running with hopped in and joined us for a bit. He is a Marine, so we all thanked him for his service and we all began chatting for a bit. He then veered off so he could get back to the rest of his family. Mile 15: 10:23

Mile 16 is where the pain came back, and with a vengence. One of the 2 remaining running partners asked if I wanted some advil. ADVIL? You have advil and didn't tell me about it 4 miles ago??????? WTF?

Of course i wasn't mad at her, and didn't even act like I was. I just graciously said YES! and at the next water stop I grabbed the advil, bid my awesome running partners adieu as at this point I would only slow them down. They wished me luck and ran on, while I took the advil, re-tied my shoes and stopped to stretch for a minute. Mile 16: 11:32

Mile 17 was more of the same: slogg for a bit, then slow to walk/stretch, etc. Mile 17: 12:42

I knew that Allison and the kids, my brother, his two kids and aunt and cousin would see me around mile 20, so I needed to get all this walking and stretching crap out of the way now. I wanted to look good and strong for them.

I started up again and the advil must have kicked in, because my knee felt better. Although it was right around mile 17 that I could feel the heat of a blister forming on the ball of my right foot. GREAT. something else that I have NEVER gotten during a run. But other than that, I felt okay...I mean, I felt good, but I was tired because at this point I had run 17 miles!

Mile 18: 10:16

Mile 19 was probably one of the BEST water stops I've ever encountered: Orange Wedges. Man, those REALLY hit the spot. I mean I didn't know it, but I think i was even craving them because I took a whole handful of them and ate them like there was no tomorrow! Someone was also handing out brownies, so I took a little square of that too.

Mile 19: 10:51

Mile 20 is where I saw my family. Although I was feeling better, it was still AWESOME to see them right before the turnaround. It was exactly the boost and pick-me-up I needed to see my 3.5yr old son yell "Run Daddy Run!". I stopped and posed for pictures for a minute and chatted with my family and a cop who was just standing there too.

I bid them farewell and continued to the turnaround....until Ian yelled for me, so I just HAD to go back and give him another kiss! So after I did the turnaround, I saw them again..I mean not even a minute after I bid them goodbye! I posed for another picture and told everybody I'd see them at the end.

Mile 20: 12:09

Mile 21 found another waterstop with oranges and also in that mile I realized I had to pee again, so found a not-so-well hidden place where others were going and relieved myself. Also, I found it hard to get back into my groove after peeing, so I took a few walk breaks Mile 21: 12:40

In Mile 22 I was doing yet another walk break when I heard a pack of people slogging up behind me and then pass me. It was Captain Dicknose and the 5hr pace group. Ever since he called me out early in the race, I had made it my mission to stay in front of them. DOH!

I NEEDED to beat him. You know what? F this guy. He's not going to beat me. I hopped right in step behind him and re-joined the group. There were probably only 8 people left, and only 2 of them looked better than I felt. So I knew I could keep up.

Mile 22: 11:09

Mile 23: 12:01

The pace group took an extended walk break at the next water station and the pacer gave a bit of a pep talk. We counted down from 10 and began running again. He said we were ahead of schedule, so we'd take the next mile slow.

Mile 24: 12:25.

It was at this point that the pacer said that he was still a little ahead of schedule but HIGHLY encouraged anyone who could push on to do so. He said "if you can go, GO! GO NOW! Don't hang back if you have it in you!".

Well, I'll be if that wasn't the invitation I'd been waiting for. I was going to wait a bit longer before pulling away, but here was my opportunity.

I put my head down, mentally flipped off the pacer, and focused on my breathing. Once I felt my body synch up I looked up and pressed on.

The next two miles were I have to say the hardest two miles I've ever run. I was too close to the finish to walk...F that. I was going to run this thing out..but it took all I had to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I remember thinking at one point that I reasoned not stopping because it took more energy to stop and walk than it did to keep running.

But I kept going and just kept thinking to myself that I'm soooo close to becoming a marathoner. Heck, I was even PASSING people!

Mile 25: 11:05

Mile 26 is when the crowds came back into play. THere was LOTS of cheering and encouragement and THIS is when I was glad that I had my name on my shirt. Spectators would call my name and I would look them in the eye as they told me I looked great and that I was near the finish line.

Mile 26: 10:39

The crowds got bigger and louder and then I saw Erin in the crowd cheering me on. All of a sudden the finish line was in sight. It took all I had, but I managed to pull out a full-on sprint to the finish and raised my arms as I crossed the line.

CHIP TIME: 4:55:03

My goal was to finish between 4:45-5:00 so I managed to pull that out even with the unexpected early 'injury'.

Immediately after the race, runners were treated to cup of hot chicken broth. As soon as I saw that, I can honestly say I got excited! That totally hit the spot and couldn't imagine anything else that I would want to drink at that point in time...a plate of oranges with it would have just been the bees knees!

Post-Race, Erin and I picked up cheesesteaks for everybody from Pats, but then we stopped at Geno's for a cheesesteak for me so I could compare the two. Yeah, that's right: I had two cheesesteaks. Guess what? I rounded out that shit with some cheese fries, probably a third of a pan of brownies and about fourteen beers. I was a freakin' bottomless pit after the race. Not to mention that I was practically completely sober as well as the last one to go to bed that night!

Before the gorgefest though, I took an ice bath before my shower to help with the soreness. Doesn't that sound enticing? It's as horrible as it sounds, but the 10 minutes of agony is worth the relief it provides. In case you can't visualize it, here are my titanic toes in the middle of the ice field:

Before the trip Erin had promised me a massage (she's a massage therapist at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia) after the race to also help with the soreness and I must confess: I was SOOO looking forward to it. I have only had one professional massage before and that was a few years ago on vacation in Arizona. It was friggin' phenomenal and have been jonesin' for another one ever since. She said she would do it Sunday, but her kids needed soothing back to sleep, so she went and took care of them and then just crashed for the night. I certainly don't blame her.

Monday I woke up with a VERY sore right knee and had a giant blister on the bottom of my right foot. So Erin did what no sister-in-law should EVER have to do: She volunteered to pop that bad boy (the blister, not the knee!). She poked the thing with a safety pin and immediately she was greeted with a spray of blister juice....right in her face. She laughed, and I wanted to as well, but first I had to swallow the puke that had quickly gurgled up and found its way into my mouth. So we bandaged my foot up, I took some Ibuprofin and just kind of hung out and relaxed.

Monday evening Erin set up her massage table and got all the stuff together and told me to hop on. I was treated to the BEST 3 hour massage of my life. I didn't know it would last that long, but let me tell you what a pleasant surprise that was!!!!!

She did a phenomenal job and paid extra attention to my sore knee. Apparently what she did worked, because there is no pain there anymore at all. I was treated to another massage Wednesday night to work out the final kinks and now I feel as good as ever!

I'm a wee bit concerned about the knee in the future, but like I said it's feeling good now so only time will tell.

So I can officially say it: I've run a marathon!

I'm not about to run out and sign up for a spring marathon, but I'm certainly not ruling out future ones. But as expected I think Half Marathons are more my cup of tea. So maybe I'll just sign up for a marathon every OTHER year or so. All I can say right now is that I'm glad the training is over, as is Allison.

The plans for the immediate future is to focus on getting back into the gym on a regular basis to get rid of the flab that has developed due to the lack of dedicated gym time.

I'd like to thank all of you who have supported me and my running, especially you Allison! I certainly couldn't have done it without you and your support, encouragement and occasional kick in the ass to get out there and run on the days that I didn't want to! Thanks to everyone who have ran with me, gave advice, cheered me on and even those who told me to stop running because I'm just going to hurt myself. Well, I take that back. To those people I say: Ha! I did it!

Oh, and one more "bite me" to Pacer Mike. Of course I don't mean that...like I said, I know he was just looking out for me. But thanks for the motivation to finish strong! Without you I could have missed my goal!

T minus 4 Days

I'm beside myself that the Philadelphia Marathon is just a few short days away. I've been training four and a half months for this puppy, and its just about upon me.

I feel confident about how I will do, barring any unforeseen circumstances. I'm not cocky, by any means, but I think I've trained well enough.

"Well enough" is the operative word here. I was supposed to run 4x per week (Tues-Thurs and a weekend run). Except for the first 3 weeks, I've missed AT LEAST one run per week, sometimes two. The upside is that I never missed the two longer runs of the week, just the short runs mid-week (tues and/or thurs).

Am I concerned it'll affect me finishing? No. Do I think it will affect my potential of finishing faster? Yeah. I don't have any major time goals going into this, just to finish. My soft goal however is to finish between 4:45 - 5hrs. I'm still debating whether I should 'challenge' myself and go for the faster time or just head out, enjoy it and take it slow and finish around 5hrs or whenever.

I'm certainly not going to stress about it or give it too much thought, because after all there will be people crossing the finish line almost 3 hours before me. . Here's to the pokies bringing up the rear!

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In other news, Mr. Ian came down with Croup. It all started while Allison was away this weekend. Around 3am Sunday morning, Ian woke up crying. I was already awake and downstairs as Little Miss Sleep-Is-For-Suckers decided around 1:30 that that she was having none of this "eyes-closed and lie motionless" stuff that normal people do in the middle of the night.

So anyway, I went upstairs and Ian was soaked (from sweat, not pee). I changed him and gave him some motrin because he was really warm, and got him back to sleep. Well, that lasted all of an hour. He proceeded to wake up screaming absolute bloody murder around 4 (yeah, Babycakes and I were still up). I heard him through the monitor (which was in the next room) yelling "Daddy!!! Daddy!!!! Where are you???" and then something else.

I ran upstairs and he was friggin hysterical. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever seen him this upset. Actually, I take that back. Maybe when he hurt his arm and ended up getting a cast...but I think he was more upset this past weekend. Anyway, when I got upstairs he kept yelling that he saw ghosts, that they were in the hallway, there was one under the bed, one IN the bed and then he screamed that there was one behind me.

Okay, so I'm gonna take off my 'superdad/nothing-bothers-me' hat for a second. Little Haley Joel Osment over here freaked me the fuck out. Of course I hugged him and reassured him, but I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that I looked around the room. Mostly to try to figure out what Ian saw to make him think there were ghosts, but also to see if I crapped myself for any good reason.

Needless to say he wasn't going back to sleep by himself, and since Leah was downstairs, I brought him down with me. We just chilled on the couch watching TV for the next hour while Leah played on the floor oblivious to the supernatural phenomena going on in our house. I finally got those two yahoos to sleep by 5am and we were sacked out til around 9.

After that, Ian was hoarse, had a barky cough and fever. You could hear him wheezing and tell that he wasn't very comfortable. It was really sad to see him cough and then watch him make a really painful expression on his face. We took him to the pediatrician Monday morning and the doctor confirmed that he did have Croup.

I didn't realize that it could go away rather quickly, as he re-assured us that Ian wouldn't be contagious and could go to school on Thursday. He still has a junky cough every now and again, but the fever is gone and his voice is almost back to normal.

Oh yeah, let me tell you about that. Since Sunday Ian has been complaining that he wants his 'real voice' back. Well, we have a humidifier going in his room and I've been using that as a tactic to get Ian to take a nap. If he balked or asked why he needed to, I just told him that being in the room with the humidifier would help his voice. No joke, he would hop into bed and then get into his little 'sleeping' position (as opposed to the lie on his back and stay awake and ask a million questions position).

Today though, the little weasel tried to tell me that his voice was better. I was able to convince him that he needed just a little more time in there, especially if he wanted to go to school tomorrow. Well, that bought me a 2hr 10min nap. Booyah!

Okay, thats about it. I'll update this puppy with a good race report in a week or so when we get back.

An Open Letter to the Hotel Staff

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Last Weekend ; Things preschoolers dream of

So I previously told you that I was going to spend the majority of last weekend away at a golf tournament and running a half marathon. Well, thats exactly what I did and I had a friggin blast.

The tournament was a memorial tourney for a friend who had died unexpectedly several years ago. This was the 4th year that the tournament was held and a fun time was had by all! It was a 4-man scramble format (for you non-golfers, that means that all 4 people in your group hit a ball and you decide which one you want to play...then you all go and hit from that spot and decide which one is the best, etc).

It was fun because it was only the 3rd time this year I broke out the sticks, so there was no pressure to do well. But I did manage to kick some serious ass. Well, not really kick ass, but I had some excellent shots and it was the best I've played this year. Unfortunately I don't have any more golf outings on the books until April when we're taking a 'guy's golf weekend' down in Florida.

So it was fun to get out there and play some golf and hang out with guys I haven't seen in years.

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After golf I headed up to Kara & Tommy's to spend the night before the Boston Half Marathon. I won't go into boring details (unless you're a runner, then I'll give ya our mile splits), but the abridged version is that Kara and I had no expectations going into the race. We weren't going to 'race' it, just use it as a long-run since we're both training for marathons.

We started off nice and slow, deliberately keeping it at a slowish pace and not trying to pass people and worry about time. We got to the last few miles and decided to pick it up since we both had a good amount of energy left and finished with a good kick and a fast mile and a half. We both clocked in at 2:11 and change.

I'm super happy with the run because:

a)it was a lot of fun
b)it was good running weather (cool, breezy with some misting rain)
c)our time was pretty damn good! Although it was about 2 minutes slower than my personal best, it was a good 3 minutes faster than my first half marathon which was exactly 364 days earlier.

It was only 3 minutes faster than last year, but our (well, at least my) conditioning is so much better. I made a comment to Kara during the run that the hills didn't seem as bad as they were last year. Kara also pointed out to me that last year I told her that I wouldn't be talking on the hills and just focus on breathing and making it up them (which I vividly recall)...but this year, I was doing all the talking on the hills. Those factors, plus that it was a deliberate slow run made it a VERY successful run in my book! Thanks for the great run, Kara!

Oh yeah, one more thing. Right around mile 4 I felt that familiar warm friction feeling upon my left nipple. I did put on liquid band-aid in the morning, which I had success with on my previous 2 long runs (15 and 16 miles)...but apparently it didn't work on Sunday.

Mile 4 there was a little pink stain. Mile 6.5 found Kara laughing at the red mark and asking me if I wanted to stop at the medical bus that we were about to pass. Mile 13.1 found Tommy blurting out "Jesus Don, what happened? Did you get shot?"

Of course I took a picture of the carnage...The picture is from later that night, so the blood had settled into the shirt, so its not fresh and the deep red color that 3,500 other people saw that day...but you get the jist of it:



And yes, it did hurt like a mother. But only when I was running into the wind or taking a shower. How much did it hurt? Enough to make a grown man whimper for his mommy.

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This weekend I'm signed up to run the Hartford Half Marathon, but will be banditing the Marathon course instead. I'm scheduled to do 18 miles, and was planning on doing 5 miles before the HM started. Well, I talked to Kara last weekend and she convinced me to just run the Marathon route and stop at the 18 mile point.

It feels weird going into it KNOWING that I'm not finishing, but then again, its just a training run for me. I could barely walk after 16 miles 2 weeks ago, but didn't do any mid-week runs between and probably could have hydrated better the few days leading up to it. I'm not making that mistake this time! Wish me luck!

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Ian keeps talking about the game "Hungry, Hungry Hippo". He picked it out as a birthday gift for 2 of his friends and has been saying for weeks that he wants to ask Santa for it.

Well, he came down from his nap today and announced that it's Christmastime. I told him it wasn't and tried explaining the concept of time and winter and months and blah blah blah. No joke, he looked at me and said that Santa told him that it was christmas time. WTF?

He said that Santa rang his "grey" bell and said that it was Christmastime so Ian asked him for Hungry Hungry Hippo and Santa said yes. I asked him when this happened and he said 'just now'. So deductive reasoning tells me thats what Ian dreamed about today.

So it's official: It's Christmas time.

Well, if we're going on that kind of logic, it's also official that I defiled the Swedish Women's Olympic Volleyball Team.

Fast Frog, Faster Car

I don't know why I find this so funny, but I do. The following two pictures are of what's at the end of our driveway.

If you can't out-run (out hop?) a japanese half-sized SUV, then you don't deserve to live. Notice the legs bent back over near his head. Survival of the fittest, baby:

The right thing to do would to take the mangled carcass off our driveway and huck it into the woods or something, right? Yeah, that would be the right thing to do. Kermit is still sitting at the end of our driveway (I took the pictures yesterday afternoon).

He'll get a proper and respectful catapulsion (is that even a word?) into the trees when I get around to it. Until then, let the flies buzz around him joyfully mocking his lifeless body.

First Day of Preschool (kind of)

Well, we just got back from Ian's first day of school. It wasn't really his first day, but more of a meet & greet. You may recall, Ian is part of the Childhood Development Program at the High School, so in the room were: 10 preschoolers, 20 parents, 20 high school kids (each preschooler gets 2 high school 'buddies') and the teacher. Good thing it is a VERY large classroom, but there was plenty of room for the kids to all play and meet each other.

It was really cool walking in because you could see how excited the high school students were to meet their charges. We walked in the door and the teacher asked Ian his name, so he replied and the two girls who were assigned to him came up and introduced themselves to him and to us and they both started playing with Ian.

He had no problem whatsoever adjusting to the atmosphere. Within 3 minutes he had a police helmet on (with the shield), and his two buddies had a firemans helmet and a chef hat. After about 20 minutes the HS students had to go to their next class, so then the preschoolers got to meet their OTHER set of buddies. (the meet & greet wasn't at the normal school time, Ian will get about an hour with each class of kids).

I got to spend a minute or two with each set of buddies just giving them the general rundown on Ian. The biggest thing I wanted to let them know was about Ian's speech: He doesn't say 'S' or a few other letters. I just gave them examples of what words containing those letters would sound like. They'll be able to pick up on it fairly quickly, but I just wanted to give them the heads up.

The teacher we met last year moved away this summer, so this new one kind of got thrown into the mix. She seemed nice enough, but she is kind of a scatterbrain. Allison's hairdresser's daughter is in one of the classes and she has said the same thing about her, so I was on the lookout for it today. I'll give her some slack, but here is an example of her being kind of all over the place: She had said in a letter last month that she'd hand out a schedule during this meet & greet. Someone asked for it and here is her answer why she didn't have it, verbatim: "Yesterday I sent two students to the store, they got hung up so I couldn't print out the schedule this morning". What the hell does that mean? Obviously the kids aren't attending Harvard, so it really doesn't matter...but I think that shows the lack of preperation of even the most basic things.

Overall, I think Ian's gonna have a great time at school and will enjoy all the students. By the way, the preschoolers are split down the middle: 5 boys, 5 girls. We even ran into a couple that we met during our Birthing Class with Ian. The dad was there checking his blackberry every minute (no exaggeration), and the mom was busy with the nanny handling their 3 month old daughter. The dad even mentioned something about the nanny "We both work, but we make sure someone is home with our daughter.". Jeez. I should have said "Yeah, there are lots of people home with Ian too: Clifford, Curious George, Diego......"

And on the potty training front, everything is going AWESOME. He tells us if he has to go, even if he's watching a show, he'll say "daddy, I gotta go potty...I gotta poop!" and then run to the bathroom. He also like to pee standing up, like daddy.

He's had some accidents here and there, but hey're few and far between and whats even better is that he gets bummed and bothered by them. Today, when the first group of kids left to change classes I mentioned to Allison that it was a good time to show Ian where the bathroom was, and to take him as it had been awhile. As I was walking over to get him, he went up to the teacher and said "excuse me, I have to go potty". WOO HOO!!!! So I took him, but he didn't go. Hehe, Ian's pee-shy! But Allison took him again later and he went.

So overall, today was a good morning and Ian is gonna have a BLAST at school!

What I learned today on my run.

Today I had a 15 mile training run, which was the furthest distance I've ever covered. Before this, my furthest run was a half marathon, 13.1 miles.

So what did I learn today on my run? That 15 miles is a long fuckin' way. And 26.2 miles is a hell of a lot further than that....and to be honest, I'm a wee bit nervous.

I felt good up til about 11.5 miles, then my feet started to get heavy and the humidity began to take it's toll. It's been 2 weeks since I've run even 13 miles, so my body didn't quite remember what to do at that point in time. But afer all, I was able to get my mental game in order and got through it. I ended up walking from 13.68 miles to 13.88 miles, but other than that and 4 water stops, I chugged along the entire time.

I actually kept a pretty consistant pace, except for that 14th mile there. So in reality, it was a really good run. It just felt tough those last few miles. I'm very stoked that I've now covered that kind of distance, but its nowhere NEAR what I'll be facing in oh, just 8 weekends from now.

I have 8 weeks to prepare this lumbering shell of a body of mine to go 11.2 MORE miles than what I did today. Well, if we want to get technical, I only have 3 more runs that are longer than what I did today....and the longest one of them being 20 miles. That means that come race day, I'll have 6.2 miles of unchartered territory to cover. That's 6.2 miles above and beyond only one run of 20 miles that I will have previously done. Am I fookin' high???

I'm pretty damn nervous about it now that I know what a 15 mile run feels like. But after thinking about it today after the run, I know I'll be fine considering several factors:

A) I'm not the first person in the world to run a marathon 13 months after running my first half marathon. Other people have done it, some who probably were in worse shape, so I know I can do it.

B) Today I only stopped for water 4 times. If you really care, they were at miles 3.8, 5.0, 10.0 and 11.2. The marathon will have 12 water stops...thats 12x I can grab some water, walk a bit and gather myself. In 15 miles, there would have been 6 water stops and a 7th just half a mile later. So today I 'rested' less than I would have on the marathon course. (side note: I know that I don't HAVE to run the whole thing, but I have discovered that if I walk at any point other than water stops, mentally its THAT MUCH tougher to not stop again just .25 miles down the road. I try to only use walking as a last resort.)

C) Dispite my Nervous-Nellyishness, I know that I'll be fine and that I can do it. Even if I have to walk at times other than the water stops, which I understand is most likely going to happen. Even though my race history shows that I'm good at just plugging along mid-race, 26.2 miles is a whole new ball of taint hair. (you thought I was going to say wax, didn't you? Thats right, I said taint hair. I'm here to keep your eyes from getting too comfortable and keep them on their little eyeball toes).

D) Running longer distances is as much about conditioning your mind to handle the abuse, as it is your body. This was told to me by a runner-friend and I certainly understand now and believe it. But I know that I will prevail because I'm much stronger psychologically now than I have been previously. I obviously can't say I can condition myself for 20 miles, as I haven't run that distance yet.

Even though I wanted to stop and walk around mile 9.5, I know I didn't have to. I also got the urge around 12.5 but I kept on going. I know people say to listen to your body...fuck that. My body was trying to take the easy way out, but I wouldn't let it. In runs past, I would have easily obliged. But it wasn't as hard as I thought today to just tune out and listen to my feet hit the pavement and focus on my breathing. When I do that, I'm unstoppable.

So for those reasons and more, I know that I'm gonna kick ass in Philly.

not-so poopypants

We just had a breakthrough in the potty-training department.

I was filling in some nail holes on the garage door trim when Ian blurts out "daddy, I have to go poopy!" He runs into the downstairs bathroom, drops trough, drops on on pot and drops a few logs.

This is friggin' HUGE for us. Usually Ian will just casually lean against the coffee table to take the weight off his feet and quietly squeeze out some odoriferous waste products. I don't actually know that he's taking the weight off his feet. For all I know, he's applying abdominal pressure to help work out all thats in there...kinda like squeezing the last bit of remnants out of a tube of toothpaste.

Yeah, kinda like that.

Either way, that's his usual M.O....but not today! I made a HUGE deal out of it and we even called mommy on speakerphone to tell her our great news. It would have been better if SHE had US on speakerphone!

What made this whole thing even better is that Ian said that he started to poop in his underwear (no evidence though) but then realized that he should go on the potty. Fuckin' A. I don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves here, but school IS starting on Tuesday. I think Ian was just toying with me and playing headgames all summer.

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In other news, my Marathon training is going well. I have my first ever 15 mile run tomorrow morning. I have yet to run anything over a half marathon (13.1 miles), but I know if I take it slow and easy it won't be a problem.

Oh my, how life is changed. On Friday afternoons I used to call up my friends and we'd talk about what bar we'd meet at and proceed to get annhililated. Now I"m blogging to anonymous (and not so anonymous) friends about my son's methods of shitting himself and how I'm running like an antelope out of control.

Have a great weekend, and don't forget: It's fun to poop on the potty!

It's his potty and he'll go if he wants to.

There may be hope for us yet on the potty-training front.

As you may (or if you're getting old like me, may not) remember, we gave up potty training several weeks ago because it was a losing battle. Ian had no desire what-so-ever and couldn't care less if there was crap in his underwear.

Well yesterday, while wearing a pullup even, he told me he wanted to poop on the potty. yeehah! He didn't though, just peed, but hell that's a start!!

And just this morning, out of the complete blue, he told me he wanted to wear underwear because he wanted to "go to school and learn". Looks like I'm starting the process all over again:
*Dragging him (and most likely Leah) to the potty every 30 min no matter where we are
*Hauling 3 changes of clothes wherever we go
*Carrying the portable potty in & out of my car as often as I do Ian

But hey. If Ian is on board with us now, I'm all for it! Maybe 3rd time is the charm.

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Oh, Allison: hurry home. Leah is thisclose to crawling.

When fingers aren't enough...

This just taken 10 minutes ago. I guess a good daddy would have tried to stop this. Me? I grab my cell phone.

When fingers just won't do. Twice the goods in half the time!

Letter to our cleaning service...

First of all, yes, we have a cleaning service. They come in twice a month and do all the crap that Allison and I hate to do...you know, clean. They clean the bathrooms, vaccuum, dust (sometimes), and generally straighten up.

A little background. We started using the service last year when my student loans got paid off. We looked into it and the service was less than what we were paying for the loans, so hell, we hadn't seen that money in 10 years, why not spend some of it to make our lives easier. This past Christmas Allison's mom paid for our service for all of 2007, which was a great surprise. It blew both of us out of the water.

Right off the bat I asked that they don't come in the middle of the day (between Noon and 2:30), because thats when Ian (and now Leah) nap. Well, lunch, storytime and THEN nap. One of the owners (it's a husband & wife who own the franchise) acknowledged my request and said it wasn't a problem. They listened for a week....

I then called and asked again. They didn't honor my request. I called the branch the following week and spoke to the WIFE. It worked for awhile, but after a few weeks they started showing up in the middle of the day, several times RIGHT as I was putting Ian and/or Leah down for a nap.

So I then told the cleaners themselves of my request. They were genuinely surprised, saying that the owners never told them of such a thing. Again after a few weeks they stopped honoring my request.

Today I came home at 12:30 from being out and about all morning and the cleaners were still here. Leah had been asleep for 10 minutes, so this was the breaking point as to whether she would transfer still asleep into the house. I drove around for 10 minutes and came back home and they were still here.

I was fucking fuming. So I parked in front of the house and just sat there while Leah proceded to wake up (unlike Ian, she'll wake up within 5 minutes of the car stopping). 10 minutes later the cleaners packed up their car and left. I fake smiled and waved to them.

Below is the letter that I just sent to them through their website...I changed the company and owners names to protect the ever-so-guilty....or at least not-so-innocent:

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Cockface,

I am sending you this comment through OurServiceBlowsMonkeyNuts's website because efforts to make this request via phone (and in person to the cleaners) apparently falls on deaf ears.

I have asked you, Mr. Fucktard, twice and once to Mrs. KnobGobbler on the phone about our request to NOT have service in the middle of the day (between Noon and 2:30pm).

At least twice since then, I have turned your cleaners away when they showed up around 1pm. The first time they seemed surprised, so I didn't blame them, but let them know of our request. The second time I just politely asked them to come back later in the day. Several more times I have come home after 12:30 and the cleaners were still at the house, so I needed to drive away.

The reason that this is such an issue for me (as I have probably told everybody that works in your branch) is that the middle of the day is when my kids nap. One sleeps okay in the car, but the other one doesn't, so I NEED them to both sleep in their beds to get a good nap. To be honest, the reason behind my request doesn't matter. What matters is that I made the request and was assured it wouldn't be a problem...but it is.

The only reason that I have not cancelled our service with you is because my Mother-In-Law paid for our service for 2007. We are happy with the cleaning job that you do, but it irritates the living daylights out of me to be ignored as I have been, when I have been told that my request is 'not a problem'.

Is the request a problem? If it is, please let me know and I will begin searching for another service for January. If it's not a problem, lets do what we have to to ensure that my request is fulfilled.

If we have to switch to another day besides Tuesday to make sure I don't get service in the middle of the day, that's fine. If we have to be the very first or very last client of the day, that's fine. Or anything in between, that's fine. I am simply requesting (for the last time) that the cleaners not be at my home betweein 12:00pm and 2:30pm on the scheduled day of service.

As I said, I like the service that you provide, but I have a VERY hard time believing that "the corporate office felt strongly that from the beginning, we have demonstrated the importance of caring for each and every client", as is stated on your website.

Mr. Donkeyballs and Mrs. Floppytits, please let's work together so we can maintain a long and happy business relationship.

Sincerely,

The Toddler Chasin', Diaper Changin' Maniac.

Ian's first major Injury!

I won't tell too much of the story, because Allison did over at http://dupreesgal.blogspot.com/.


But we went to Ian's Doctor yesterday because Ian still wasn't right with his arm. He agreed that it was something more than the Nursemaid's elbow diagnosed at the hospital. So today the kids and I went to the Children's Hospital to see the orthopedist.


Ian was WAY nervous beforehand, because all the doctors have made him move his arm and poked and prodded him. These doctors today were great, moving his arm as little as possible and were gentle with him. The Xray technician was a pro and kept Ian in a good mood throughout.


The Doctors concensus is that it could be a broken elbow (nondisplaced supracondylar fracture for you geeky types). But he couldn't really tell. And the only way to tell for sure is to put a cast on it, and check xrays again in 2 weeks to see if anything has healed.


So that is exactly what he did. Ian chose a color and the doctor wrapped up his arm. I was really nervous at first as to how Ian would take having a cast on....but of course he friggin loves it. Granted its only been a few hours, but he was showing EVERYONE in the hospital his new cast.


Now all I have to do is keep him away from sand and water for the next 2 weeks! We have an appointment to get it off and take some Xrays for the day we go down to the beach for our vacation, so it'll be perfect timing!!!



Allison also already posted the picture, but since I took it and this is MY territory, it's going up here too!!!

Camping trip recap

Last weekend Ian & I went with our friend Greg to a music festival in upstate NY (near Albany). It's a festival (Camp Creek!) that I've been to several times before, but never thought I would bring a kid to. I only say that because I was never in the mindset of bringing a kid there. But last time I went (about 2 years ago) I noticed they had a 'quiet' camping area for families and had activities for kids in the open field near the main stage.

I decided to take Ian this year because he digs live music and there would be plenty of kids to keep him occupied.

So last Friday we loaded our gear, hooked up the camper to my car, and set off for 3 days of fun! I went into it knowing I wouldn't actually 'see' much music and it was more about the experience of going there with Ian. And that's exactly how it turned out. We pulled onto the property where the festival was being held and Ian took immediately to the 'security' staff (bikers) and they even gave him a baseball glove while they searched our car and camper. (Normal procedure, they don't allow glass of any kind).

We find a spot in a field along the treeline to set up the camper and immediately Ian began playing with Nicole, a 5 year old next to us. After that point, it was hard keeping Ian by our camper because all he wanted to do was find Nicole or any other kid around.

All weekend all we did was play with toys, kids or walk around watching a band for a few minutes or taking a walk in the vending area. Below are some pictures from the weekend:

This is AniCorne Skywalker on friday evening. The sky opened up with a huge thunderstorm about 15 minutes after the camper was completely set up, so of course we had to break out Ian's new poncho (and no, we didn't go out in the thunderstorm, this was after the thunder and lightning passed:

This is Ian in his new Jerry shirt. I swear he's the one that picked it out, he loved the hand print on it!

This is Ian playing with his new lightsaber with his friends on Saturday evening. I wasn't keen on getting him any type of sword, but they were inexpensive enough and the kids were actually really careful about not hitting each other with them (for the most part!)

This is Ian Sunday morning exiting the camper in his new Tye Dye. He actually wanted to buy a hemp dress, but I convinced him that this might fit him better!

Prince Ian at the kids tent

Ian & his honeycakes gal pal, Nicole after not seeing each other for like, 45 minutes:

Duck & Cover

Duck & Cover? Why 'duck & cover', you may ask. Well, my dear friends, it's because it's raining. Oh, it ain't raining water though...that would be too easy and not blog-worthy. It's much worse than that.

Here in my happy little world, it's raining F-bombs. It's raining F-bombs like you can't even imagine. It's not a T-storm...its a great big F-storm. And this guy right here is getting all soaked.

I'll start this off by saying the past several weeks have been very hard on me. Both kids have honestly made me re-think my desire to stay home with them on a full-time basis. Ian with his continual bad behavior, not to mention towards some other kids. There used to be some sort of predictibility: Either he was hungry or tired, or it was usually with just the boys, or it was generally with smaller (18mo-2yrs) kids, or only being less than nice to kids he knows/is comfortable with. All that is out the window...he's randomly downright rotten to some children and it bugs the shit out of me. But I mean, c'mon, who wants to see their kid be a douche bag and be mean to people?

He also has a newfound love for dragging bedtime on longer and longer...his downright refusal to go to sleep is oh-such a joy! Fer chrisssakes, close your eyes, recharge your batteries and get ready to raise some more hell tomorrow morning!!!

And Leah with her desire to not let me do anything without holding her. In the beginning of the morning, she's okay playing with toys, but after she gets fed up with that, she is a total pain in the ass the rest of the day.

She won't tolerate toys for more than, say 2 minutes without emitting the most obnoxious/annoying whine/shrill I think I've ever heard....well, besides Ian not getting HIS way, but that is actually comical. Whenever he doesn't get something he wants, he immediately declares it as his 'favorite' thing or part of the day. Even if it's something he's never done before.

Allison thinks I'm crazy, but Leah is totally different with me than she is with her. She'll sit there and play nicely next to Allison for any stretch of time. But me? I play with her for awhile and then try to feed my firstborn? You would think I stuck a fork in her eye.

I think she'll become more easily distracted once she can eat solid foods and begin snacking on cheerios and other Godsends. Hey, honey, bored and can't have me? Here, eat something! Thats not leading her down the wrong path later in life, is it?

I know these are normal phases that the kids are going through, and it will pass. Knowing that helps me get through the days and weeks without pulling my (or the kids') hair out. It has been a rough patch, but overall, I know I got a good thing going being able to stay home with my kids.

I know that if I throw in the towel and go back to work right now, I WILL regret giving up on the opportunity to watch my kids grow up firsthand...Yeah, that and I will feel like a complete asshole for bailing on my kids when the going got tough. The kids just wear me down with watching Ian like a hawk because he's gonna bitch-slap some kid for not letting him go down the slide first...and Leah being pissed at me because I have to use two hands to punish Ian!

So here I am, sticking it out. Each day is a new day for the kids to piss me off...I mean each day is a new day for us to have fun together!!!!

Anyhoo, thats the backstory of why the past few weeks have been downright sucky for me. Now onto the direct result of my stretch of shitty weeks.

Apparently my brain filter has been malfunctioning recently, because Ian's new favorite word is fuckin'. Looking back, um, I know exactly where he has heard the word being used repeatedly, reinforcing it's position in his vocabulary.

I actually forget the first few times he said it. But Allison and I decided that we would just ignore it and let it run it's course. Because as you may know, Ian is the type of kid to just hammer on something if he knows he's not supposed to.

I'm sure you'd like a few examples as to how Ian uses that parent-cringing word:

This past Thursday we were leaving a friend's house and Leah's bib fell out of my backpack. Well, Ian noticed it as he was climbing into his carseat. He sat there, buckling himself in and said to me as I was putting Leah in the car: "Daddy, don't forget the fuckin' bib." He was even nice enough to point to it as he was saying it to show me where it was.

Later that day Ian was riding his bike in the driveway and got stuck on a little stick, so I gave him a little push. This is how Ian said 'thank you': Daddy, let go of my fuckin' back!.

Would you like more?

Just today, I was helping Ian open a gate at a playground. I was pretty sure that Ian didn't want assistance when he blurted out: Daddy, I can open it on my fuckin' own!

Let me tell you how it warms my heart to hear my firstborn, my own flesh and blood start a sentence in his own innocent little voice with "Daddy"....and to hear him end it with "on my fuckin' own".

OK, this is getting depressing, so only one more example...and this is probably the funniest one too. We were at a children's birthday party on Sunday (can ya just feel it now?) and Ian had an 'accident'. So Allison went up to the bathroom and changed him (he was already in a pull-up, so no big mess) and Allison started talking to him about going to the bathroom:

Allison: "Now Ian, when you have to go to the bathroom, when you have to pee or poop, where should you go?"

Ian: "On the fuckin' potty!"

She said she did her best at containing herself until she heard the father of the birthday boy outside the door burst out laughing.

Obviously our strategy of ignoring it isn't working...granted, it's only been a week or so, but that's long enough for me. I had a little chat with Ian the other day about that word and how its bad and daddy won't say it anymore and neither will Ian. I reprimand him when he says it, but will begin giving timeouts and make the punishments harsher until he learns its not worth saying anymore. I'm just cringing everytime he opens his mouth at the playground now.

Let me just tell you how I'm waiting with baited breath to hear Leah's first word.

Okay, thats enough for tonight. I'm tired, so I'm going to fuckin' bed.

Ians Party & the Boys Camping Trip

Allison already blogged about Ian's birthday, so I won't go into too much detail about it, besides what I promised: And thats watching Buzz Lightyear poop candy.

As you may or may not know, Ian is completely obsessed with the Toy Story characters. So we decided to throw Ian a "Buzz" party. Included in the Buzz Lightyear package that Allison ordered was a Buzz Pinata.

While everyone was eating, I hung up the pinata, which is Buzz Lightyear with his hands on his hips giving the funniest/creepiest ear-to-ear grin. Kinda like the big bowling pin at the kids fair, but since it was BUZZ, Ian looked beyond that.

I hung it in the garage since it was rainy and wet outside. After everyone ate, Allison wrangled up all the kids and brought them down to commence the Lightyear bashing. . Long story short, all the kids took turns whacking the hell out of the thing with no success. A few kids even slipped on the floor (because bubbles were spilt earlier which made part of the floor a little slick). After everyone had a turn or two, Allison called a ceasefire.

I didn't know this until this past winter, but these pre-made pinatas had an 'escape hatch', which is an alternative way of dumping the candy if you can't break it open. We never did pinatas as a kid, so this was news to me. Buzz's escape hatch happen to be on his, ahem, can.

Allison gleefully yanked those strings and Buzz's poopchute opened and out flowed all the goodness and joy of childhood. Some of the adults got a kick out of watching buzz dangle on the string and seeing tootsie rolls and such fall out of him. I didn't get a good picture of him shitting candy, but here is one of Ian taking a wack at him:




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As you may or may not know, we bought a pop-up camper last month. I've always loved camping and Allison, well, hasn't. I want to get the family into camping more so this was our compromise...we get to go camping and she gets a bed.

Well two weeks ago we got the opportunity to take the camper out for its inaugural trip. We meaning Ian and I. Allison had to go out of state for bridal shower (she's in the wedding) so she took Leah with her so Ian and I got a boys weekend to go on a brand new adventure.

Since I hadn't towed the camper since the day we brought it home, I made reservations for a "pull-though" campsite at a family campground not too far away. A pull-through site is exactly as it sounds, and it allows you to just, well, pull through and not worry about backing up and jockeying the camper into position. I chose to do that because I hadn't practiced backing up and parking, and didn't want to have to worry about it with just Ian and I.

Anyhoo, We left our house at 11am and arrived at Jellystone Park in Sturbridge, MA about 30min later. Once we got there, we saw that the pull through sites were pretty much just a grassy island right in front of the campground...there are dirt roads all around it and it's right next to the general store. Both the woman behind the desk and I agreed that a more secluded site would be better. I decided the hassle of having to back up was absolutely worth getting a safer, more relaxing site.

I'm proud to say that I actually did pretty well! I had to pull forward twice, once to start-over and once to straighten out. I also had to get out of the car to get another look at the site about halfway through the process, but other than that, I was all backed up and in position in about 5 minutes!

Of course Ian wanted to go exploring the minute we got there, but I wanted to get everything all set up as he was skipping his nap and I KNEW there would be no patience on his end (or mine!)later in the day. So I was able to get him to "help" me by dragging around the water container and hauling & stacking some Lynx levelers (plastic blocks used for leveling the camper). I never really got 'settled in', but rather just stored everything on one bunkend leaving the couch, dinette area and other bunkend available.

Once we were all settled in away we went! We went the playground for awhile, which was a whole 50' from our site. We also had the water-park about 50yds from where we were too. It wasn't much, just a big pool, jacuzzi, water slide and snack shop. But it was PLENTY enough for Ian to stay busy for a few hours. As long as he had his Nemo Fins (his floaties) he was good to go!

As I said, we were only a half hour away from home and it was thundering and raining there, but the sky was absolutely beautiful and clear by us. It was even HOT, maybe 85 degrees. Of course we had to take a break from the swimming to gobble up some ice cream. Ian couldn't wait to get back in the pool though!

I could tell that he was wearing down (he had no nap remember, and by this time it was probably 3:30), so we went back to the site, changed our clothes and went to go check out the rest of the campground. We saw a lake with a beach & another playground so we spent some time there and then we poked around the general store/game room/snack shack area. He met up with some new friends and they played and ran around for quite awhile.

I was getting hungry, so we went back and as I was preparing dinner, I let him watch a DVD to keep him stationary and in-sight/out of trouble. After dinner we went to the pavillion (next to the general store) to check out the band that was playing on the little stage there, as you know, Ian LOVES watching live music being played. They were a cheesy band, but perfect for the atmosphere.

Ian didn't eat much dinner, so he was saying that he was hungry. We walked down to the general store and since it was a 'special camping trip', I let him pick out what he wanted to eat. You ready for this? Potato Chips and Orange Juice. Let your taste buds contemplate that for a minute. Are you starting to get that juicy, salivating/tingling feeling in your mouth yet due to the completely unnatural and disgusting combination of those to things? BLECH! But he ate the bag and drank almost all of the juice. Hey man, whatever floats his boat!

After he had enough of the band (which was during setbreak), we went back to the campsite and finished the day and unwound with the rest of the DVD while I brewed a pot of coffee and read a magazine.

We all know that Ian is generally not a good sleeper. And we've only slept in the camper one night before this trip, so I was a bit concerned about how he would go to sleep, especially since I didn't want to lay down next to him. I tried explaining to him that i would be over at the table and even though he couldn't see me (I was going to shut the privacy curtains so the light wouldn't bother him), I would still be there.

Yeah, he couldn't care less. He just gave me a goodnight kiss, rolled over so his back was to me and was out in a record of about 4 seconds flat! So I just relaxed with a few cold ones enjoying the sounds & scenery.

We awoke around 6am to dead silence. It wasn't easy keeping Ian quiet, but I kept his chatting to a minimum by stuffing his face with some fresh berries, orange juice and a coloring book. I cooked a breakfast up for myself and while cleaning up I heard some thunder in the distance. We were going to stay the morning up until the 11am checkout time. But as we found out a few days before the trip is hella scared of thunder, so a packing up we did go!

He wanted to go play, but knew thunder was on the horizon so he was a little freaked out. So I put on another DVD to keep his mind preoccupied so I could pack up as quickly as possible The last thing I wanted to deal with was a freaked out toddler while I was packing up the camper.

So he watched his movie inside the camper until I was ready to take it down..I then plugged it into the socket on the outside and dragged the picnic table over next to it while I cranked it down.

When it was time to back my car up to the camper and hitch it back up, I let Ian sit in the passenger seat...a real treat for him! He loves playing in the car, but I downright detest it, so I never let him do it in my car. That way I was 100% sure where he was and didn't worry about running over him. He had a blast sitting in there with a "grown up's" seat belt!

I'm proud to say I completely packed up, broke camp, (including dumping our water from the sink) and was ready to pull away in about an hour and 15 minutes. Not too shabby for a first timer alone with a toddler!

And the icing on the cake was that JUST as we got onto the highway (about a 1/2 mile from the campground) it started to POUR!

The only downside is that since I was in a rush, I didn't get a chance to clean the dirt/mud/etc off the floor, but thats the way it goes.

But the bottom line is this: I had an absolute blast camping with Ian and can say that I am totally hooked on the pop-up! I just love all the amenities that it provides! I can't wait to go again with Allison and Leah so we can enjoy it as a family!

And coming in at #1....

Edit: Ok, so I'm still trying to figure out how this thing works. My 'intro' blog is right below this one, so you might want to skip this first one now and read the next one first...does that make sense? Wow, what a way to kick this thing off, eh?

I FOUND IT! This is my favorite blog that I wrote. It's from 10/17/06 and deals with an issue I had with a neighbor. Enjoy!

Fasten your seat belts, I'm about to rant. NC-17 Rated.
Current mood: predatory

I'm going to start off with a warning: All children, please avert your eyes and find another blog to read...this aint gonna be pretty. Besides you may see some words here that you may not understand the meaning now, but if repeated will elicit a reaction on your parents faces that you've never seen before. Or if you have a queasy stomach and don't like foul language, move on.

(Well, gee if that isn't a tempting statement for those underage or curious readers I don't know what is! And do you think someone would actually read that and say "okay, maybe I shouldn't keep reading".)

Okay, fuck that. I'm not going to get sidetracked this early. I'm gonna get right down to the nitty gritty right away. What the FUCK is wrong with people? I know that's a broad, generalized question but let me elaborate.

I got Ian down for a nap and go outside to get our mail. What did I encounter? A big, heaping, steaming, gloriously rancid pile of dogshit. Where is this magnificent specimen of canine ka-ka? On my fuckin' front lawn, right next to my fuckin' mailbox. I am so goddammed mad about this, i'm going to repeat that in caps (and then add some cute emoticons to emphasis my rage): ON MY FUCKIN' FRONT LAWN, RIGHT NEXT TO MY FUCKIN MAILBOX.! GGGRRRRRRRR

Okay, so I've found doggy doo-doo on my property before but it was not as blatant as this. For those that haven't been to my (now apparently) dog shit storage unit, we have our front lawn and then we own a little strip of grass off to the side. its about 6' deep and runs maybe 200' long. (Note: Thats just a guess as i'm too pissed off to think clearly.). Anyway, i've seen some there before while mowing the lawn. Gee, and I thought I was mad about that!

But for some reason, since it wasn't in my absolute front yard it didn't bother me so much. Maybe because I believed in the goodness of people and gave them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they thought that it was town property? Afterall, it does seem like no man's land, this little strip between the two properties.

But fuck that shit now. Now I know the real truth. Some freakin Assclown has the audacity to walk around and let their little pooch drop a deuce so fuckin' blatently on other people's property and not clean it up. Let me amend that....judging on the size of this fantastic pile of fecal matter, its no little pooch.

That brings me back to my original question. What the fuck is wrong with people?

I am so determined to find out who this is. And you all that know me....I know I talk a good game, but then will let shit roll off my back when push comes to shove. Not this fuckin' time. I am going to OB-FUCKIN-SESS about this until I find out which fuck-stick of a neighbor the offending crapper is. I swear on all that is liquid and alcoholic, I will ream them a new one once I find out.

How will I find out? I haven't a clue. Well, like I said, deductive reasoning tells me that it wasn't a little dog...so that rules out.....no one. shit. This might be harder than I thought. But I can tell you for sure who it wasn't. There's a guy on my block that has a pitbull. It wasn't him, because last summer he put signs on his front lawn saying "curb your dog". so it has happened to him too!!

Thats another fact that adds to the aggrivation. This knobgobbler has done it before! At least it means that they're not targeting me. But what it DOES mean is that this retarted cocksnacker is too lazy to bring a bag for his goliath when he (or she...lets not discriminate here!) walks it. And its not like they just forgot it just once! This is the 3rd time on my lawn and there's at least one other instance. TRIPLE FUCKING GRRRRRRRRR

Ok, so lets play devils advocate for a minute here. Maybe they were different offenders every time. Maybe every time it WAS someone else who actually happened to forget to bring a pooper scooper or baggie with them. What does it mean to the next person that allows it on my lawn?

Absolutely nothing.

This person is going to be the recipiant of such fury, they're going to need a pooper scooper for themselves. I swear to God I won't even be polite about it. Yeah, they're my neighbors but I don't care...I have realized that I don't need to be friends with everybody in the world. You allow your dog to shit on my yard and you don't clean it up? You deserve the proverbial boot up your ass. I don't want to be friends with you anyway, assmunch.

Okay, so lets take a step back and look at the situation. Someone allowed their horse to shit on my lawn (square on my lawn next to my fuckin' mailbox to boot).

Is it a big deal, i mean, honestly? No.

Will it kill me to take half a roll of paper towels and pick it up and throw it away? No. (and I say half a roll because guess what? It's raining. And dog shit doesn't get firmer and easier to pick up when it gets wet, now does it?)

Do I deal with poop on a daily basis, and doesn't in fact, as the famous book tells us, everybody poop? Yup.

So then why, praytell am I getting so worked up about this? Because some assholic cumdumpster in my neighborhood doesn't respect other people and their property...and this fucktard needs to be dealt with swiftly. And also because I can. I have no life, I have nothing else to do, so I need a little anger in my life. Besides, it makes for great blogging fodder.

So to you, Mr. "Here puppy, shit anywhere you want. It doesn't matter", I tell you this. I will find out who you are. And when I do, I promise I will make you cry. And God forbid not only do I find out WHO you are, but WHERE you LIVE? I'm making a special trip to White Castle just for you.

----Addendum Blog to one above-------

Addendum to rant Meri used a phrase in her comment that reminded me that I forgot to include something in my original rant.

That phrase is "responsible dog owner".

I forgot to say that in no way am I anti-dog, anti-dog owner, or even anti-dog crap. I grew up with dogs and we had dog crap ALL OVER the yard. I don't get all worked up when I go to someone's house now and there is dog crap in their yard. Why? Because they have a dog, it's their property & it just comes with the territory.

I'm all pissy about this because I do NOT have a dog and therefore should NOT have to deal with dog crap in MY yard!

I'm sure that was understood, but I just wanted to put it out there.

And no, no one has pooped on my lawn again yet. But yes, I am watching.

And Away We Go!

Wow, well would you check this place out? (looks around)...I'm diggin' this joint. I think I'll set my 'daddy's bag' down here and call this place home from here on out.



I've been blogging over at Myspace, but have since grown tired of the glitches, inability to save my posts, and especially the stalking from Tom. Has anyone told him that he looks creepy in that picture of his? And what the hell is that scribbled on the white board behind him? Anyway, I'm glad to be here and look forward to many a happy posts.



For those that don't know me, a quick intro: I'm a stay-at-home dad to my 3 yr old son, Ian, and 5 1/2 month old daughter, Leah. I like to talk about my life being a SAHD, and the amusing (and not so amusing) things that happen in my quirky little world.



I also began running a little over a year ago and have dropped 56lbs in the process (insert applause here!). So I'll also include updates on my training, race reports and whatnot in my blogs. What else about me...oh yeah, duh. my FANTASTIC wife also blogs (quickly) about what's going on with her/our kids/us. She more gives a quick synapse while I blab on and on. Please check her blog out here: http://dupreesgal.blogspot.com/.



That about does it for my introduction. I've got TONS to say, and foul language with which to say it! I also have terrible grammar, and my editing skills generally suck, so if I don't catch all my errors and mistypes, please forgive me.



I already posted some of my more recent myspace posts below for your enjoyment. If you've never read any of my 'work', it'll give you a good sampling about what I'm all about. So go through them at your leisure and reminisce about what has happened in my life.

I was going to start my brand new blog tonight, but I'm beat. I gave blood today and am wiped out. I tell ya, I haven't given blood in over a year, and it affects you a great deal differently when you're 50+ lbs lighter!

I'll put up my new one tomorrow night, I promise. I've got so much to say and a brand new forum to say it in....who is excited? THIS GUY! Cheers!

(from 5/20/07) Buzz Lightyear poops Lollipops

I'm BAAAAAAACCCCCKK!!!

Hey all you fantastic and loyal readers!! I'm back for another rendition of don's blog. Oh my, where do I start.

I haven't blogged since before Allison went back to work full-time. Um, that should tell you something! I'll give you a synopsis of life since then:

Before she went back to work we took a 3 or 4 day jaunt to Tampa...what a really fun trip that was!!! Except for one outburst at breakfast one morning, Ian was awesome, including the plane rides.

We went to a zoo one morning, and an aquarium another. We spent every afternoon at the hotel pool where Ian learned to swim with those little arm floatie doohickeys. We called them his 'Nemo Fins', and he swam himself into a coma every time he got in the pool. He actually ASKED to go to bed one night!

So that was March. Lets see, then Allison went back to work. I found out that logistically, hauling two kids around wasn't/isn't as tough as I had imagined. What IS tough is playing with Ian while taking care of an infant. I just can't play with him like I used to, and he knows it. And I think he resents it too, well, at least he did. There was a tough adjustment phase that we went through, but I think he gets it that Leah isn't going anywhere and he needs to deal with her. Don't get me wrong, he loves her....I just think sometimes he wishes things would go back to the way they were BC (Before Cryingbaby).

As Allison blogged about, we (I) put Ian in underwear this past week. We had mixed results with it, and am not sure if I'm going to continue the 'experiment'. Tuesday he did GREAT, as Allison said. There was only one accident early in the morning, and then we were out and about at different stores and whatnot. Every so often I'd ask if he had to go to the potty and he said 'yes', so we went. Picture perfect.

Wednesday Ian had a fever and had 2 accidents right off the bat...and I mean less than 2 minutes after I asked him if he needed to use the potty...he said no, and before I knew it he was S O A K E D. Since he had a fever and wasn't feeling well, I decided to hold off and just put him in diapers.

Thursday he had 2 accidents while at a playground, which is to be expected as he's still learning. But then dropped the motherload. It was the deuce of all deuces..if fact, it probably qualified as a tres.

Did it bother Ian? Not one friggin Iota. He had a friggin' monster turd dangling in his spidey drawers and he acted like nothing was wrong. That pretty much sealed the deal for me as far as just realizing that homey isn't ready to potty train. That's fine...I wish he was, but it is what it is. He just need to be bothered by poopsticks in his caboose by the end of the summer. Little buddy isn't going to miss out on pre-school due to brown tenents living in the basement rent free.

-----------------------

Ian turns 3 tomorrow. If you didn't see the blog that Allison wrote on Friday, CHECK IT OUT. If you know Ian, it'll put a smile on your face. It certainly did for me.
Okay, I was going to go on and talk about Ian's birthday party that was today, but the Soprano's are on soon, so I've got to go.

I promise I'll blog again REAL soon. Topics to be discussed include: Ian's party that was today (um, big thumbs up...Ian was asleep before 7pm!), our new (to us) pop-up camper and my recent as well as upcoming half marathons.

I'll also weigh in on moving my blog over to blogspot. What do y'all think? I'm thinking I will ,because it'll give me the ability to save as I go...these masterpiece essays take awhile to create and myspace doesn't allow you to save and go back to them...well, they let you edit them, but, aw fuck it...I'll talk about it later.

until then, areevaderchee!

By the way, the title of the blog refers to Ian's party today. I'll fill you in later on what it means...but seriously, he did. I never thought I would see a space ranger deficate delicious goodies, but I did. AND he did it with a smile too!